satire Archives - Page 155 of 209 - Uncle Walt's Insider
The new star of Captain Marvel (2020). Image © Marvel.

Team behind 2016 Ghostbusters planning male Captain Marvel reboot

What could go wrong? BURBANK, CA -- There's lots of buzz in Hollywood about Captain Marvel. Not the movie being released this weekend, but the next Captain Marvel: an all-male remake by the makers of Ghostbusters (2016)! Marvel Studios' new blockbuster, with actress Brie Larson in the title role, is already old news. Now producer Ivan Reitman and director Paul Feig are looking to duplicate their Ghostbusters gender-switching remake success with the Captain Marvel character. Male empowerment As with Ghostbusters (2016), the script is being ...
March 7, 2019 by Marty in Other
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All-CGI Soarin' Around the Solar System. Photo courtesy NASA/JPL-Caltech/Space Science Institute.

New “all CGI” Soarin’ Around the Solar System coming

It's the next step in a natural progression. GLENDALE, CA -- Thanks to leaks from within Disney Imagineering headquarters, we now know what the next Soarin' destination will be: the Solar System! The original Soarin' Over California ride experience was enhanced slightly with computer graphics. Artificial elements included clouds, fireworks, Tinker Bell, and making Michael Eisner look like a competent golfer. More CGI, expanded locations In 2016, the ride debuted a new film featuring fly-bys of scenery across the globe, and the ride was ...
March 6, 2019 by Marty in California, Florida
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Working on a new Epcot ride. Photo by Erin O'Brien via Pinterest.

First paper straws. Next, paper animatronics, attractions

Disney's commitment to "going green" impacts ride construction. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL & ANAHEIM, CA -- Paper straws have already been spotted at Disneyland, and will soon appear in all Disney Parks and Resorts. It's just the first part of the Disney Company's commitment to environmental friendliness -- because soon, everything in the parks will be made from paper! Committed, or should be "Oh, yes, I'm green through and through," says Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation), "and not only because I ...
March 4, 2019 by Marty in California, Florida
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Uncle Walt's Insider Puzzle Time!

Puzzle Fun – Find the ride that’s NOT a 3-D motion simulator!

It's Super Puzzle Fun Time again! UNCLE WALT'S INSIDER H.Q., SVALBARD -- There's a lot of really simple (and mostly stupid) "genius" puzzles floating around. Most of them "challenge" you to see if you can tell the difference between a "5" and an "S," or something equally moronic.  So we're giving you a real challenge. Take a look at the image below -- can you spot a new attraction at Universal Orlando Resort that's NOT a 3-D motion simulator? Good luck! (And check out previous ...
March 2, 2019 by Marty in Florida, Other
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Frozone and Queen Elsa pose for photographers at the Svalbard Summit.

Elsa / Frozone Summit ends without agreement

Each side blames the other for the continued cold snap. LONGYEARBEN, NORWAY -- The multi-day summit between Elsa, Queen of Arendelle, and Frozone, representing Metroville, ended early on Thursday without an accord. The two leaders met in facilities provided at the Svalbard headquarters of Uncle Walt's Insider, which had agreed to host the summit as a neutral but cold location. It had been hoped that an end to the inordinate winter cold would be negotiated, but apparently that will not happen. Talks fell apart when ...
March 1, 2019 by Marty in Other
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