First paper straws. Next, paper animatronics, attractions |

First paper straws. Next, paper animatronics, attractions

Working on a new Epcot ride. Photo by Erin O'Brien via Pinterest.

Disney’s commitment to “going green” impacts ride construction.

WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL & ANAHEIM, CA — Paper straws have already been spotted at Disneyland, and will soon appear in all Disney Parks and Resorts. It’s just the first part of the Disney Company’s commitment to environmental friendliness — because soon, everything in the parks will be made from paper!

Committed, or should be

“Oh, yes, I’m green through and through,” says Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation), “and not only because I just rode Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster four times in a row. We here at the Disney (the company) Company are committed to using biodegradable products.”

According to Disney (no relation), switching to paper straws is only the first step of a much broader plan.

“We are completely phasing out non-biodegradables such as plastic, concrete, and steel. The new Guardians of the Galaxy Ride at Epcot? One hundred percent papier-mâché.

“Oh, and be sure to use those special characters, the â and the é, just the way I said them. I wouldn’t want your readers to think I pronounced it ‘mache’ like some ignorant hick.”

But is it safe?

Will there be any safety issues with a thrill ride made completely out of paper, we wondered?

“Well, we’ll see, I guess!” Disney (no relation) mused. “You might not want to be one of the first to ride it, just in case. But that’s beside the point! We want our parks to be Earth-friendly first, and people-friendly second.”

Would you ride a paper roller coaster? Let us know in the comments below!

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Cover photo: Working on a new Epcot ride. Photo by Erin O’Brien via Pinterest.