Disney's going all in on... whatever the latest thing is. Sorry, we haven't read the article yet.
ANAHEIM, CA - The yearly D23 Expo in Anaheim is always the source of juicy news, and as usual, Uncle Walt's Insider is full of it! Here are some of the biggest announcements from Disney this year:
TRON Lightcycle Run's opening day announcement date announced
The new Magic Kingdom attraction's opening date will be announced by September 3 of next year! Or maybe that was when they ...
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GLENDALE-ISH, CA -- Disney CEO Bob "Bob" Chapek is continuing his practice of adding charges to things that used to be free! During a recent earnings call, Chapek announced that streaming service Disney+ will be adding advertisements, but that an ad-free experience would still be available -- for an additional fee, of course.
Our intrepid reporters [Ed.: I don't think our reporters have been intrepid since Covid hit] were able to discover the ...
Walt: "Hey, Marty, can you make a cover image for a story on Bob Chapek replacing Jesus without being too blasphemous?" Marty: "Can I finally get paid for doing this?" Walt: "Ha ha ha ha ha! No."
ORLANDO, FL-- Disney has announced exciting plans to acquire and reopen the Holy Land Experience theme park!
In an all-cash deal valued at, oh, let's round it up to $20, Disney will buy the property, buildings, and intellectual property associated with the park. (See our companion article: ...
Apparently Walt isn't happy.
BURBANK, CA -- Sources within the Disney Company say that CEO Bob "Bob" Chapek is being visited by the Ghost of Disney Past.
Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) confirmed the haunting, but said it is no big deal.
"The ghost first showed up when Chapek started charging for things that used to be free for guests," Disney (no relation) told Uncle Walt's Insider. "That was unsettling, sure, but Bob's pretty used to the visits by now."
"You learn ...
We seem to recall reading that "the love of money is the root..." something, something.
PARIS, TEXAS FRANCE -- Disneyland Paris is going back to its roots. Beginning next week, the resort will change back to its original name: Euro Disneyland.
The change comes at the behest of beloved Disney CEO Bob "Bob" Chapek, who took time away from protesting Florida anti-grooming laws to return to his primary passion: money.
"The original name was better," Chapek was maybe overheard to say. "I mean, ...