Uncle Walt's Insider california Archives - Page 9 of 48

Probably also the color is draining out. Photo by Michael Gray Wantagh [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Wikimedia.

The truth about Extra Magic Hour elimination: Disney is running out of magic

Maybe cloth face masks filter out the magic? WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- Fans of the Walt Disney World Resort & Spa are still reeling over the loss of the Magical Express and Extra Magic Hours [Ed.: And pavement]. But like seemingly everything else these days, there is worse news behind the bad news. Disney has almost completely exhausted its store of magic. "We've been draining our magic supplies like crazy in the past few months," confesses Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney ...

January 19, 2021 by Marty in California, Florida, World

Disneyland Autonomous Zone falls; new logo unveiled

The logo changes are so subtle. Can you spot them? ANAHEIM, CA -- Disney's recent attempt to re-open Disneyland as an autonomous zone has failed, Uncle Walt's Insider can now report. Governor Gavin Newsom (D) quickly saw that the change was making his subjects freer and happier without authorization by his regime, so he quickly had his foot soldiers shut down the parks. In what we are sure is a complete coincidence, Disney has unveiled a new logo for the Disneyland Resort. ...

January 7, 2021 by Walt in California

A barricade at the entrance to the Main Street U.S.A. Autonomous Zone, which they're claiming isn't in the U.S.A.? Photo courtesy disneyparks.com, mynorthwest.com, & kennythepirate.com.

Disneyland declares itself “autonomous zone,” opens in defiance of Newsom ban

Throw a few barricades and hand-painted signs in front of the security checkpoints, and they're good to go! ANAHEIM, CA -- Borrowing an idea from Seattle protestors, today the Disney Company declared the Disneyland Resort an "autonomous zone" and opened the parks. The move comes in defiance of a ban by California Governor Gavin Newsom (D). Disney CEO Bob "Robert" Chapek tells Uncle Walt's Insider, "I don't know why we hadn't thought of this before. I mean, the Florida properties have had their own ...

January 4, 2021 by Marty in California

(Step)Moms Panel: How ofte… // If Texas secedes, will Six Flags become Seven Flags?

The Uncle Walt's Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear (Step)Moms: how often do u pee?" - joe, "here" Grogu: Marty: I'm with you, B.Y. Absolutely not. Next question? "Dear (Step)Moms: With everything going on about the Texas lawsuit and the possibility of secession between U.S.A Republican and Democrat states. Would Six Flags be ...

December 29, 2020 by Marty in step-planDisney

The final straw? CA governor facing recall after banning Churros

Nothing says "overbearing dictator" like denying citizens their Churros. ANAHEIM, CA -- While Disney continues to box up Disneyland for the move to Texas, even bigger news has dominated the headlines. California Governor Gavin Newsom (D) is facing a recall from angry voters. Newsom's previous orders, while strict, were at least limited in scope, with only trying to run a small business, restaurant, or theme park banned. The new order is far more comprehensive -- and one detail in particular has the remaining ...

December 23, 2020 by Walt in California