california Archives - Uncle Walt's Insider
The new Fantasmic "fire dragon" effect at Disneyland. Photo courtesy CNN.

Disneyland adds amazing new fire effect to Fantasmic show

Burn, dragon, burn! Disney inferno... ANAHEIM, CA -- Guests viewing the Saturday evening performance of Disneyland's Fantasmic show were given a special treat: the addition of a new fire effect! During the Maleficent dragon scene, rather than just breathing fire, the dragon itself turned into a spectacular, menacing "fire dragon," composed of flames from head to tail! Guests report that the effect was stunning and very unexpected. (Several Cast Members said the same thing.) While the new fire effect is amazing, insiders tell ...
April 25, 2023 by Marty in California
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Disneyland reveals new Magic Key prices – with a blockout date surprise!

By Groot's Hammer, what a savings! ANAHEIM, CA -- In a recent earnings call, Disney CEO and Grand Poobah Bob "Bob" Chapek had some big news that Disney fans are sure to love! While speaking about huge profits from the parks department, he said that big changes were in store - changes that guests should love! Starting in August, guests will be able to purchase a Magic Key in one of four tiers, all at rock bottom prices! For large values of "rock bottom"  ...
August 18, 2022 by Walt in California
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Electrical lines soon to carry Walt-generated power! Photo [CC0] via Picryl.com.

Walt spinning in his grave burns out generator; California blackouts expected

Call it too much of a good thing... ANAHEIM, CA -- Well, it was good while it lasted. The electrical generator system hooked up to Walt Disney spinning in his grave has overloaded and is no longer usable -- and sources are already predicting power outages. As Uncle Walt's Insider reported, California had been enjoying a bonanza of extra power on its electrical grid by utilizing Walt Disney-generated power. The concept was simple -- hook up a generator to Walt Disney's frozen body, ...
May 14, 2022 by Marty in California
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Vandals paint Cinderella Castle a hideous pink color. Photo by Laughing Place via Twitter.

BREAKING: Walt Disney World to leave Florida

Rumor is they're heading for New York City, where they can say "gay." WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- The Walt Disney World Resort and Spa and Alternative Lifestyle Grooming Center announced today that it is packing up and moving out of Florida. "It's obvious that our values don't align with those of the state any more," said CEO Bob "Bob" Chapek. "I mean, they have a law now that says teachers can't discuss sexuality with 5- to 8-year-olds without parental consent! Who wants ...
April 6, 2022 by Marty in California, Florida
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Tips for visiting the parks with COVID

Sure, you're sick, but that doesn't mean you should cancel your vacation! (Or does it?) Much of the world is realizing that the pandemic is effectively over, and we're entering into the endemic phase of COVID where we "just live with it." (Note: this doesn't apply to Texas, Florida, or an handful of other states that have been getting on with their lives for months now.) This means that, eventually, you may find yourself testing positive for Covid when you're about to set ...
February 16, 2022 by Marty in California, Florida, World
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