(Step)Moms Panel: What's the biggest surprise at the reopened Walt Disney World? |

(Step)Moms Panel: What’s the biggest surprise at the reopened Walt Disney World?

UWI (Step)Moms Panel

The Uncle Walt’s Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.]

“Dear (Step)Moms: I’m sure you all have been back to WDW since it reopened. What was the biggest surprise about the parks?” – Sylvia S, Saint John NB

Baby Yoda:

Marty:

You were surprised by that?

X:

There’s no shade at all in the Rise of the Resistance queue line.

Also, how few snack stands are open.

Also, also, that the salad at PizzeRizzo was actually fresh and not wilted.

Marty:

The biggest surprises to me are, one, how far Florida is from our headquarters in Svalbard, and two, how the pittance Uncle Walt pays us is not enough to get to Florida from Svalbard.

Harriet:

Just don’t go to Walt Disney World. It’s expensive enough there without you.

Walt:

Hi, Susan. Thanks for asking.

I’ve been every day since the opening, I fly down on a private jet from Svalbard to ensure anti-social distancing.

I was going to just book the Walt Disney Suite at the Grand Floridian, but at a small 1,690 sqare feet, I decided it’d be best if I went with the Grand Suite instead. It has around 2,200 square feet. Perfect for me as I travel alone. The views are amazing.

I’ve used a personal “Plaid” to take me around the parks. Sure it can be pricey, but I find it to be worth it. They did open up Victoria and Albert’s just for me. Of course I had a few bottles of Svalbarði Polar Ice Water. I tell the boys it’s just the same as the tap water in the office. At $120 per bottle at V&A’s, I can’t have them thinking we can all enjoy this. After all, we have a budget.

Ub:

Uh, Marty, we need to talk. You’re getting paid?

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