Amid Coronavirus fears, Disney selling off key assets |

Amid Coronavirus fears, Disney selling off key assets

A sign on the Walt Disney Company headquarters. Photo by Utilizer [CC-BY-SA-4.0] via Wikimedia.

We can’t believe they’re letting these properties go!

BURBANK, CA — The Walt Disney Company is apparently having budget shortfalls, what with the extended closure of Hong Kong Disneyland and Shanghai Disney Resort over concerns about COVID-19 (Coronavirus). Consequently, they have announced that they would be selling off some assets.

Newly appointed CEO Bob “Bobby Cutbacks” Chapek sent out a press release announcing the sales. 

List of items for sale

Uncle Walt’s Insider staff carefully read through the 38 page list of assets that are being sold. While most of the items are unremarkable – mostly discarded churro wrappers – there were several intriguing items buried on later pages of the list, and we thought they would be of interest to our readers:

  • An unused cream cheese pretzel machine
  • A copy of the original score for The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes, signed by composer Robert Brunner
  • Jar Jar Binks
  • 1,200 acres of land outside Pine Bluff, Arkansas
  • The Mona Lisa
  • All merchandise rights for 12 characters, including Drax, from ‘Guardians of the Galaxy’, and Girl at Poker Game from The Parent Trap (1998) (Lindsey Lohan is presumably too damaged to resell)
  • A life-sized statue of Sacajawea
  • 1 Hollywood Studios Backlot Tour tram

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There was also a footnote that Disney would be willing to part with sportscaster Al Michaels, although “that may be tricky, because we already traded him away for Oswald the Lucky Rabbit.”

Would you bid on Jar Jar? Let us know in the comments below!

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Cover photo: A sign on the Walt Disney Company headquarters. Photo by Utilizer [CC-BY-SA-4.0] via Wikimedia.