(Step)Moms Panel: Our thoughts on the Disneyland expansion | Uncle Walt's Insider

(Step)Moms Panel: Our thoughts on the Disneyland expansion

UWI (Step)Moms Panel

The Uncle Walt’s Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.]

“Dear (Step)Moms: What do you think of the announced Disneyland area expansion in Anaheim?” – Mari Van Hanen, Green River WY

Walt:

Hi Eddie, thanks for asking.

I think that the best days of Van Halen were during the David Lee Roth days. Hagar is okay, and there was that other guy, yeah? But nothing will top the Roth era. It’s interesting to note that Van Halen was formed in Pasadena, CA, which is not too far from the former site of Disneyland in Anaheim, CA. Now, of course, Disneyland is located in Anaheim, TX.

Thanks for writing in, I hope you enjoy the recipe!

X:

Hi Mary! What day is it today? Friday? I try not to think on Fridays. [Ed.: It’s Tuesday.]

But if you insist, I think the most important — and worst — part of the expansion is that they won’t be adding seating for Fantasmic. Everyone knows that Disneyland’s version of Fantasmic is far superior to the cheap imitation seen in Florida.

However, you have to sit on the ground. I’m old enough that my knees and back don’t like that. So I prefer the amphitheater seating at WDW, even though the show itself is better in California. The expansion should have included seating for the show.

But there is going to be a new churro cart, so that makes everything better.

Marty:

Hey Marti! Always fun to meet someone with my name, even if you do spell it wrong.

To me, it’s fascinating that Disney is announcing this expansion after Disneyland has already packed up and left for a freer country (Texas, of course). It’s like Disney execs are living in denial, which we all know is a river on the Jungle Cruise — which, again, is now in Texas.

Even if Disneyland were still in California, I wouldn’t get too excited about this so-called expansion. It’s just an announcement. The City of Anaheim will find some new way to bite the hand that feeds them and will shoot it down — that is, if the People’s Republic of California hasn’t already driven the rest of the population to saner places to live.

But yeah, it’s cool. Huzzah.

Walt:

Huzzah?

Grogu:

Harriet:

Just don’t go to Disneyland Texas. There are enough people there without you.

Ub:

Hello, Miriam. When Walt Disney released the Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow attraction, few knew that he was actually referencing his plans for Anaheim. That there would be a Carousel of Progress in the city – then an orchard. Unfortunately for Walt, and all of the surrounding hotels, restaurants, souvenir shops, residential areas, and petting zoos, by creating a Carousel of Progress, one of the things that has to happen is the resetting of Anaheim to nothing but apple orchards as far as the eye can see. But maybe that’s a good thing, as Marty was just talking about.

Because at the end of the day, there’s nothing that says that a carousel has to be in the same place when it makes a full circle. That’s just traditional and a whole lot safer. But since when have we at Uncle Walt’s ever cared about safety?

So, yes. Huzzah indeed.

And no, Disneyland is not expanding in Anaheim. Instead, it must burn and rise out of the ashes like a phoenix.

I can’t wait for the Flying Saucers attraction to come back… But this time, instead of using parts from the Saturn V rocket, they’ll have to use parts from the Big F REDACTED  Rocket, technically known today as Starship.

[If you visited this article earlier and don’t remember Ub having an answer when this was first published, that’s because, like Douglas Adams, Ub likes the wooshing sound deadlines make as they fly by.]

Do you have a question for the Uncle Walt’s Insider (Step) Moms Panel? Click here to submit a question.

Need more Uncle Walt’s in your life? Be sure to LIKE us on Facebook, FOLLOW us on Twitter, and tell everyone you know (plus a few strangers) how wonderful (and humble) we are!.