The Uncle Walt’s Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.]
“Dear (Step) Moms: How soon will things get back to normal?” – Eugene K, Los Angeles CA
Walt:
Hi Normal, thanks for asking.
It depends on what your definition of normal is. My guess is July 13th, 2027.
Marty:
Dear Korman,
You’re from L.A. ‘Normal’ hasn’t existed there in a long, long time. How would you recognize it?
Harriet:
Just don’t go to Los Angeles.
That’s all. Just don’t.
Baby Yoda:
X:
Norm! I did some research, it will probably take you about 7 hours to get to Normal.
Nobody has a direct flight from LAX, but American flies to O’Hare and then connects to BMI. Looks like the shortest layover you can get is around 1 hour and 15 minutes. You might also be able to get a similar overall travel time if you connect through DFW.
Ub:
Hello Norman!
First off, I have no idea what your Body Mass Index has to do with flying, at least when you fly commercially. On those planes, you don’t have to worry too much about weight and balance, because it would be difficult to overload an airliner with human bodies – at least live ones. At worst, they’d simply not load some cargo; otherwise, all they have to do is add “heavy” to their flight number and use a bit more runway.
It’s like when Air Force One runs fully-loaded with several Presidents on board under the call sign “Air Force One Heavy,” or when the Orion Space Capsule took off on top of the Delta IV Heavy. Very technical, but not something you have to worry about as a passenger.
The pilot in command has the final authority on whether an airplane or rocket can take off with the weight and balance. The fact that he’s taking his life in his hands will tend to keep him honest.
