Page 9 – Uncle Walt's Insider

BREAKING: Bob Chapek in as new Twitter CEO

Well, he was available. SAN FRANCISCO, CA -- As promised, "Chief Twit" Elon Musk has honored the results of a poll of Twitter users and is stepping down as CEO of the social media company. And in confirming his departure, Musk also announced that recently-deposed Disney executive Bob "Bob" Chapek will be taking his place. "I was looking for someone who would continue to annoy both employees and customers," Musk explained, "and Chapek certainly has a strong history of doing just that." As his ... Read more
UWI step-planDisney

Step-planDisney: Will anyone from Uncle Walt’s Insider apply to be Disney CEO?

Uncle Walt's Insider step-planDisney (Step)Moms answer your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear step-planDisney (Step)Moms: I think anyone from Uncle Walt's Insider would do a great job running Disney. Are any of you planning to apply to be CEO?" - Balbina Kumar, London, UK X: Hello Balbina. No. Despite the exorbitant salary, I have no interest in ... Read more
Bob, and Bob. Not pictured: Bob. Photo credit: Getty Images.

Disney boss Iger reversing bad decisions by former CEO Chapek

Apparently Chapek didn't go far enough? BURBANK, CA -- As we predicted, Bob "Bob" Iger has returned as CEO of the Disney Company. In his first week, Iger announced he will reverse all of the poor decisions he blamed on Bob "Bob" Chapek, returning Disney to its full glory. With our incredible inside contacts and sources [Ed.: Wait, Google counts as an inside source?], Uncle Walt's Insider is able to give you a first look at the list of decision changes. They ... Read more
The future CEO of Disney? Photo by Neon Tommy [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Wikimedia.

Lane Kiffin confirms interest in Disney CEO job

This gives us an idea for an article series... OXFORD, MS -- Ole Miss football coach Lane Kiffin is interested in taking a new job as the CEO of The Walt Disney Company, sources tell Uncle Walt's Insider. Per a tweet from an unnamed ESPN Staffer [Ed.: Tell me it's not Herbie again. Please do not say Kirk Herbstreit!] named Kirk [Ed.: Dang it.], Coach Kiffin is currently reaching out to Disney company representatives about the opportunity. As usual, we're ahead of these rumors. ... Read more

An Open Letter to Bob Iger

Let's go, Brandon? Absolutely not. UNCLE WALT'S INSIDER H.Q., SVALBARD-- Dear Bob, Can we call you Bob? We feel like we've known each other for years. Plus, you strike us as a somewhat informal type of person. But, anyways, we wanted to offer you some advice. We know you're going to get tons of advice rolling in from everywhere. You've got a tall task. Only 2 years to figure out a worthy successor to the title of CEO of The Walt Disney Company. We ... Read more