Uncle Walt's Insider Page 28 – Uncle Walt's Insider

This isn't another death that happened a long time ago that we should have known about, is it? Photo © Disney.

Wicked Wench sinks, Captain Barbossa feared dead

Funny, we're pretty sure we've witnessed this battle scene while floating by in a tiny boat. DISNEYLAND RESORT, CA -- For years and years, Captain Barbossa has waged war against the small village of Puerto Dorado on Isla Tesoro, as witnessed by hundreds of thousands of guests floating by the battle scene in tiny boats. Barbossa was attacking because the village refused to produce Captain Jack Sparrow. Of course, everyone knows Captain Jack Sparrow is nowhere to be found in that attraction. The ...

If he'd stuck around longer, he could have taken advantage of Magical Funerals® by Disney! Photo public domain, via Wikimedia.

BREAKING: Walt Disney has passed away at age 65

So that's why he hasn't been returning our calls. BURBANK, CA -- Uncle Walt's Insider has just learned that Walter Elias "Walt" Disney has passed away. He was 65 years old. Disney, who started with a mouse, built a multimedia empire of family entertainment that includes films, tv networks, theme parks, and many, many plush toys. He is also widely credited with the invention of the churro. The family will hold held a private internment ceremony at Forest Lawn Memorial Park in Glendale, California. [Ed.: ...

October 26, 2021 by Marty in Spotlight

Artist's conception of Chapek arriving at the Uncle Walt's Insider Headquarters in Svalbard. Most of the photo and its various elements © Disney.

Bob Chapek applies to write for Uncle Walt’s Insider

Would you hire this man? UNCLE WALT'S INSIDER H.Q., SVALBARD -- An Uncle Walt's Insider staff member who would like to remain anonymous (Ub Skrewi) has revealed that Bob "Bob" Chapek, CEO of ABC/Disney, recently applied to write for Uncle Walt's Insider! "It was the most bizarre thing," said Skrewi. "I was working in the front office, and Bob 'Bob' Chapek walked in with an application to come to write for us. Which is especially weird, since we don't have any applications." [Ed.: And ...

October 23, 2021 by Ub in Other

Hail Hydra Campus! Concept art © Disney © Marvel 2020, modified a wee bit.

Votes don’t lie: Avengers Campus to close, be replaced by Hydra Campus

We suspect the campus was already infiltrated. ANAHEIM, CA -- Uncle Walt's Insider has learned that the Avengers Campus at California Adventure will soon close and be rebranded as "Hydra Campus." While this may shock to those who enjoyed Avengers Campus, dismal feedback from a poll is behind the change. We reached out to Disney (the company) Spokesbabe Jun Disney (no relation) to find out more. More "We normally target these sort of marketing surveys," Disney (no relation) told us, "but in this day ...

October 20, 2021 by Walt in California

Returning soon to a Disney park near you! Photo by pbev pbev pbev pbev pbev (seriously) [CC BY-NC-ND 2.0] via Flickr.

Disney Parks bring back ride coupon books

Because everything old is new again... if it brings in $$. BR'ER BANK, CA -- In his quest to find a way to charge guests extra for dang near everything, Disney CEO Bob "Bob" Chapek announced today that Disney ride coupon books are returning. For the 98% of Disney fans alive today who have never seen one, a coupon book was an additional purchase above and beyond park admission. The booklet would contain various numbers of tickets with letters, and guests would need ...

October 17, 2021 by Marty in California, Florida