It's 100% effective at stopping the virus, and can be made with common household materials.
COLLEGE STATION, TX -- This may be the break Disneyland officials have been waiting for! Researchers at the Texas A&M University Department of Biotechnology and Concrete Husbandry have announced a new masking solution that is 100% effective at preventing the spread of Covid-19.
"It's so simple, we don't know why we didn't think of it before," says A&M (the college) spokesperson Jun Aggie (no relation). "We've been using ...
Sure, the picture looks the same, but you can tell it's in Texas from all the concealed-carry bulges.
TWITTER -- As predicted by absolutely nobody, Fake Theme Park has joined the growing list of entities that have announced they are moving to Texas.
In a now-deleted tweet, the popular theme park announced that they would be relocating from their current home in **FILLER TEXT** [Ed.: Be sure to find out where they're located before we publish this!] to a swampy inlet not far from ...
Maybe cloth face masks filter out the magic?
WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- Fans of the Walt Disney World Resort & Spa are still reeling over the loss of the Magical Express and Extra Magic Hours [Ed.: And pavement]. But like seemingly everything else these days, there is worse news behind the bad news.
Disney has almost completely exhausted its store of magic.
"We've been draining our magic supplies like crazy in the past few months," confesses Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney ...
We suspect it was the source of all of the good ideas anyway.
GLENDALE CA -- Good news from Disney Imagineering headquarters! Although legendary Imagineer Joe Rohde will be retiring effective January 4 of next year, his famed earring will continue working for the foreseeable future.
The earring, which unsuccessfully ran for president earlier this year (and which may be an alien), made the announcement on its official Twitter account.
No announcement has been made as to how the earring intends to get to ...
You'll plummet to the sounds of "Seize the Day," perhaps?
ANAHEIM, CA SOMEWHERE IN TEXAS -- In a rather odd announcement, Disney announced today that the "Critter Country" section of Texas' Disneyland Park will be rethemed, but the company would not say for sure what the new theme would be. Instead, they gave a cryptic hint at one of the possibilities.
When Uncle Walt's Insider reached out to our normal contact, Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation), we discovered that she ...