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UWI Guide to Avoiding Coronavirus in Disney Parks

Pfft. Like any of us would stay home from Disney. UNCLE WALT'S INSIDER H.Q., SVALBARD -- From our frigid island home in the North Sea [Seriously, Walt, let us turn up the heat in the office!], we've been monitoring the health crisis sweeping the globe. And we know that nothing will stop rabid Disney fans from getting their park fix (though closing the Shanghai and Hong Kong parks have slowed a few people down). Because of that, we've assembled a few tips on ... Read more
A promotional graphic for DIsney's new Coronavirus Dance Parties. Photo [CC0] via Pixabay.

BREAKING: Disney announces “Coronavirus Dance Parties”

It's like the old chickenpox parties, but with dancing! BURBANK, CA -- With the ever-growing news on the COVID-19 pandemic, many public gatherings are being canceled, including NCAA & NBA sporting events, churches and schools. But Disney leadership has decided to take a different path. There will be an all-new offering at all Disney theme parks in the U.S.: The Coronavirus Dance Party. Each park will hold these dance parties nightly. Not unprecedented "Do you remember the chickenpox parties from when we were kids?" asked ... Read more
Leaked photo of Disneyland Escanaba construction, probably. Photo by spejder.dk. Inset photo by Adirondack Explorer.

UPDATE: Disneyland Escanaba construction underway!

We're bumping our regular (Step)Moms Panel discussion for this breaking news! ESCANABA, MI -- Yoopers across the globe are celebrating, because they will soon have a Disney park in their own backyard. That's an expression, by the way. The park won't be literally in anyone's backyard. That would cause a lot of problems, and the park would have to be really small. Unless they found someone with a gigantic backyard. ... What were we writing about again? Oh, yeah. Silencing the doubters While some ... Read more
Kudos to Google Maps for updating their images so amazingly fast! Photo © 2020 Google Maps, used by permission, and maybe modified a wee bit.

BREAKING: Brexit in effect; Epcot’s UK pavilion disappears

We interrupt your normally scheduled (Step)Moms Panel Discussion for this breaking news. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- While much of the United Kingdom celebrates its exit from the European Union and awaits what happens next, guests of Epcot were stunned to find that the UK Pavilion had disappeared. "It's just a bare patch of dirt now," says Gerald Myerly, a visitor from Boca Raton, Florida. "This was not totally unexpected," says Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation), "especially to readers of Uncle ... Read more
Could it be any worse than Disneyland Pyongyang? Photo by Josh Hallett [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.

BREAKING: Disneyland Tehran plans “on hold”

Things are a "wee bit volatile" at the moment. BURBANK, CA -- Sources tell Uncle Walt's Insider that plans for the first Disney theme park in the Middle East, to be located in Iran's capital city, are "on hold" for the moment. "The situation over there is just a wee bit volatile right now," Bob Iger our source tells us. "Tehran's government is out of control, there's unrest and violence everywhere you turn. It's a mess. No place to build a family theme ... Read more