uwi Archives - Uncle Walt's Insider

Reasons why Uncle Walt’s Insider hasn’t published any new content lately

Did our writers go on strike, and Walt didn't even notice? UNCLE WALT'S H.Q., SVALBARD - Faithful readers to this site [Ed.: We have those?] may have noticed a lot of, well, nothing lately. No doubt, this caused you to think "Wait, does the site still exist?" Which would be a very valid question. The answer, dear reader, is, of course, Yes. We do still exist. We still churn out [Ed.: not-so] copious quantities of award-winning satire. So where have we been? Here's ...
March 25, 2024 by X in Spotlight
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Disneyland reveals new Magic Key prices – with a blockout date surprise!

By Groot's Hammer, what a savings! ANAHEIM, CA -- In a recent earnings call, Disney CEO and Grand Poobah Bob "Bob" Chapek had some big news that Disney fans are sure to love! While speaking about huge profits from the parks department, he said that big changes were in store - changes that guests should love! Starting in August, guests will be able to purchase a Magic Key in one of four tiers, all at rock bottom prices! For large values of "rock bottom"  ...
August 18, 2022 by Walt in California
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Artist's conception of Chapek arriving at the Uncle Walt's Insider Headquarters in Svalbard. Most of the photo and its various elements © Disney.

Bob Chapek applies to write for Uncle Walt’s Insider

Would you hire this man? UNCLE WALT'S INSIDER H.Q., SVALBARD -- An Uncle Walt's Insider staff member who would like to remain anonymous (Ub Skrewi) has revealed that Bob "Bob" Chapek, CEO of ABC/Disney, recently applied to write for Uncle Walt's Insider! "It was the most bizarre thing," said Skrewi. "I was working in the front office, and Bob 'Bob' Chapek walked in with an application to come to write for us. Which is especially weird, since we don't have any applications." [Ed.: And ...
October 23, 2021 by Ub in Other
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The search for new step-planDisney panelists is on! Apply now!

There's just one qualification required. UNCLE WALT'S INSIDER H.Q., SVALBARD-- We're looking for new panelists to help answer the many, many questions we get (some of which are actually more than "Is this for real?")! Do you have what it takes?  Not coincidentally, Disney is looking right now for new panelists on their planDisney panel (they totally stole the name from us). So here's how you become eligible to apply for our step-planDisney: 1. Apply to Disney to become a planDisney panelist. Click here ...
September 11, 2021 by Marty in step-planDisney
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UWI step-planDisney

Step-planDisney: When will the trains from the airport to Walt Disney World start?

The Uncle Walt's Insider step-planDisney (Step)Moms answer your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] Hey, guess what? The Uncle Walt's Insider (Step)Moms Panel is now "step-planDisney"! And this isn't reactive in any way -- we were planning this change long before the Disney Mom's Panel became planDisney. But we're the same (Step)Moms, so we'll continue to ...
August 30, 2021 by Marty in step-planDisney
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