Uncle Walt's Insider uncle walts insider Archives - Page 19 of 42

It will look like this on Day One. Photo courtesy Wallpaper Flare.

Disney Parks will now reopen at full capacity, calling crowds a “protest”

Apparently you're less likely to catch the virus if you hold certain points of view. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- As Walt Disney World inches towards its reopening date in 2025, the company is backtracking on its plans for social distancing. The parks first announced they would require guests to undergo temperature checks, maintain distance from people they like as well as those they don't, and immerse themselves completely in hand sanitizer. The company also said park capacity would be limited to ...

(Step)Moms Panel: “Do you give advice on romance?”

The Uncle Walt's Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear (Step)Moms: Do you give advice on romance and relationships?" - Pat S., Weehawken NJ Walt: Hmm.... X: Uh.... Harriet: .... Marty: <gulp> Baby Yoda: Ub: Hmm.... Uh.... .... <gulp> What? Joe Rohde's Earring: I'm not a "(Step)Mom," but I have been in a close physical relationship with the same guy for over 30 years. Give me a ...

June 15, 2020 by Marty in step-planDisney

Uncle Walt’s Insider Week in Review for June 14

Here's what you missed while doing something much less important! Appearing this past week on Uncle Walt's Insider: Monday (STEP) MOMS PANEL: WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS SO RUDE OVER HERE? - Someone accuses UWI of being rude on Facebook, and the (Step)Moms help ease the pressure (so to speak). Tuesday CONFIRMED: DISNEY VILLAINS WILL NOT WEAR MASKS - Walt Disney World is reopening in a few short years. Will the bad guys be spreading disease? Wednesday PIXAR ANNOUNCES 2021 CORONAVIRUS-THEMED FILM: "VIRAL" - Cute! Just please wash your ...

June 14, 2020 by Marty in Spotlight

Downtown OWA in Foley, AL, which looks exactly like Disney Springs if you've been up for 48 hours. And squint. Photo by Walt, used without permission but with some snark.

CORRECTION: Disney Springs is open, people are actually going

Hey, we get some things right, occasionally. DISNEY SPRINGS, FL -- Uncle Walt's Insider previously reported that no one is going Disney Springs in spite of it being open for business. It turns out that might have not been 100% correct. Or 50% correct. Or at all correct. It was a big misunderstanding. Our own Uncle Walt drove to Orlando for over 48 hours straight (the drive from Svalbard is pretty long) and thought he had arrived. In his sleep-deprived state, he thought that ...

June 13, 2020 by Walt in Florida

Ghost town? I think not. It doesn't even have real ghosts, like the Haunted Mansion, or Turtle Talk with Crush. Photo by Uncle Walt, used without permission.

“Open” Disney Springs a ghost town; no one is there

Serious. Like, nobody. Cast members, shoppers, looters. We weren't even there. DISNEY SPRINGS, FL -- Disney Springs announced their reopening in May, and the Internet nearly shutdown in excitement. Most assumed that the Walt Disney World shopping district (so called because you can't buy stuff anywhere else on WDW property) would be packed. Well, May 20th has come and gone, and despite initial reports from fake news sites (such as WDWNTT), no one is actually going to Disney Springs. It is empty. There ...

June 12, 2020 by Walt in Florida