Uncle Walt's Insider uncle walt Archives

Reasons why Uncle Walt’s Insider hasn’t published any new content lately

Did our writers go on strike, and Walt didn't even notice? UNCLE WALT'S H.Q., SVALBARD - Faithful readers to this site [Ed.: We have those?] may have noticed a lot of, well, nothing lately. No doubt, this caused you to think "Wait, does the site still exist?" Which would be a very valid question. The answer, dear reader, is, of course, Yes. We do still exist. We still churn out [Ed.: not-so] copious quantities of award-winning satire. So where have we been? Here's ...

Meet the newest Disney Imagineer. Photo © 2021 Google / Street View.

Elon Musk to purchase Uncle Walt’s Insider

He wanted to buy the Babylon Bee, but that's actually worth something. UNCLE WALT'S INSIDER H.Q., SVALBARD -- Fresh off his purchase (and purge) of Twitter, billionaire Elon Musk announced today his plans to purchase Uncle Walt's Insider. The move comes after his first attempt to buy a news satire site, The Babylon Bee, fell through, due to the Bee "actually being worth something." While the final purchase details for Uncle Walt's have not been disclosed (unlike Twitter, U.W.I. is not a publicly ...

November 18, 2022 by Marty in Spotlight

What Would Walt Do? You ask, Uncle Walt answers!

Hey Walt, should Elon Musk buy Disney?

Now that Elon Musk has bought Twitter, he may have a few billion left over to buy Disney. Should he? Today's question: "Hey Walt, should Elon Musk buy Disney?" Submitted by B.C., J.V., J.D'A., & B.I., Various locations, USA Hi Anonymous, Thanks for asking. The idea of Disney keeping their independence and influence from a parent company has always appealed to me. It allowed for Disney to maintain their status as the head of the pack when it came to family entertainment. They were on the cutting ...

April 26, 2022 by Walt in WWWD

Vandals paint Cinderella Castle a hideous pink color. Photo by Laughing Place via Twitter.

BREAKING: Walt Disney World to leave Florida

Rumor is they're heading for New York City, where they can say "gay." WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- The Walt Disney World Resort and Spa and Alternative Lifestyle Grooming Center announced today that it is packing up and moving out of Florida. "It's obvious that our values don't align with those of the state any more," said CEO Bob "Bob" Chapek. "I mean, they have a law now that says teachers can't discuss sexuality with 5- to 8-year-olds without parental consent! Who wants ...

April 6, 2022 by Marty in California, Florida

The five second rule does NOT apply to churros! Photo composite by Marty, as is the "comment below" question.

Man throws away entire churro at Animal Kingdom; riot breaks out

Rest in peace, poor churro, we hardly knew ye. HARAMBE, FL -- A riot broke out in the Africa section of Disney's Animal Kingdom after a man was spotted throwing away an entire churro. Our very own Uncle Walt witnessed this atrocity first hand. "I was taking note of a bit of paint chipped off the top of one of the buildings so I could file a complaint with Guest Relations about the state of the park," Uncle Walt told himself so ...

March 27, 2022 by Walt in Florida