Uncle Walt's Insider protest Archives - Page 4 of 5

Is... is Mickey pointing to Walt, like "Take him! Take him first!"??? Because that's what it seems like. Photo by Steven Miller [CC BY 2.0] via Flickr & Pixabay.

“Young” Walt Disney statue the next to go?

Pulling down statues may prevent past "atrocities." Like Song of the South? ANAHEIM, CA -- The statue of noted oppressor Mickey Mouse was toppled last week at Disneyland, leaving many Disney fans asking, "What's next?" [Ed.: Actually, only a few asked "What's next?" The majority of questions we got after that article ran were, "Is this real?," followed by "What?," "Can I get Marty's number?," and "When does Disneyland Escanaba reopen?"] Apparently, "what's next" may be the statue of the young Walt Disney at ...

Meet Mickey's new voice! Photo by Loren Javier [CC BY-ND 2.0] via Flickr, & Pxhere.

BREAKING: Disney animal characters will only be voiced by actual animals

It's only right. BURBANK, CA -- As you may have read, Disney property The Simpsons will now have characters voiced only by actors of the same race as their fictional counterparts. Apart from the company scrambling to find yellow actors, they now say that they are extending the policy to non-human characters. Yes, from now on, Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, and other beloved Disney characters will only be voiced by animals. Sources say the company is struggling to find a man-dog hybrid to ...

June 30, 2020 by Marty in Other

The elusive Disney social distancing sticker. Photo by Jukeboxprint.com, modified.

Disneyland delays reopening due to shortage of social distancing stickers

"Without these stickers strategically placed on the ground, how will guests know when they are at least 6 feet apart!?!?" ANAHEIM, CA -- Disney will delay the re-opening of Disneyland -- but only due to the lack of social distancing stickers. Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) stated, "We were all set to re-open Disneyland. We have stockpiled enough hand sanitizer to flood a small town (in addition to the walk-through vats), there are hand washing stations setup every 15 ...

June 27, 2020 by Walt in California

Remember, it all started with a mouse. Photo by Olivier Bruchez [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.

Antifa pulls down statue of “historic oppressor” Mickey Mouse

Where will it end? DISNEYLAND, CA -- Chanting "Hey, ho, the mouse must go," protesters toppled the Mickey Mouse portion of the famed Partners Statue at Disneyland yesterday. A spokesperson for the protesters, Jun "Auntie" Fa (no relation), read a statement to Uncle Walt's Insider. We'd give you the whole thing here, but it was riddled with grammatical errors and poor reasoning, and we're not WDWNTT. Basically, it denounced "almost 100 years" of "rodent-based capitalistic terrorism" on the "poor downtrodden park-goers of the ...

June 26, 2020 by Marty in California

Nailed it! Awesome graphic by Marty, © 2020 Uncle Walt's Insider, used without permission.

Uncle Walt’s Insider 2020 WDW Crowd Calendar the only one to predict shutdown

Just goes to show you can rely on Uncle Walt's Insider! UNCLE WALT'S INSIDER H.Q., SVALBARD -- We are not usually the types to blow our own horn. First of all, we're string players, mostly. And also, we are really humble. Like, really humble. You would not believe how mind-bogglingly humble we are. It's one of our better characteristics, right up there with our looks, charm, and Zamboni-driving skills*. But when we're this right, we figured none of our competing Disney and theme ...

June 23, 2020 by Marty in Florida, Spotlight