The Uncle Walt’s Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] “Dear (Step)Moms: When does the Auto Zone on Main Street open? Do they have…
This might be revenge for Mickey taking the CEO job away from him. MAGIC KINGDOM, FL — As Disney readies the parks for upcoming reopening protests, arriving Cast Members found barricades on Main Street U.S.A. Yes, the Walt Disney World Resort & Spa’s Magic Kingdom now has its own autonomous zone. Led by an individual calling himself…
Apparently you’re less likely to catch the virus if you hold certain points of view. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL — As Walt Disney World inches towards its reopening date in 2025, the company is backtracking on its plans for social distancing. The parks first announced they would require guests to undergo temperature checks, maintain distance…
![The presidents, just before they lifted their picket signs, since UWI's resident photoshopper didn't have the energy. Photo by Josh Hallett [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/hall-of-presidents-protest-768x432.jpg)
Onlookers were entertained by Jefferson and Madison rapping about Alexander Hamilton. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL — Cast Members arriving for their normal work day were met with protests by Presidents at the Magic Kingdom’s Hall of Presidents. Led by George Washington, the majority of the past Presidents joined forces to protest the division that is…
Will Smith is “a great actor… but he’s not blue.” BURBANK, CA — Pandoran protestors marched on Disney Studios yesterday, demanding that the role of Genie in the upcoming live-action remake of Aladdin be recast. “Will Smith is a great actor,” Na’vi spokesperson Swizav Tawwäì’itan told Uncle Walt’s Insider. “I’ve been a fan of his…