donald Archives - Uncle Walt's Insider
In case you missed it, DONALD CAN'T EVEN AFFORD PANTS. Photo by Disney, and various clip art libraries.

Donald Duck joins Mickey Mouse in push to oust Bob “Bob” Chapek

This nickel-and-diming has got to stop. TOONTOWN, USA -- In a statement released today, Donald Duck has announced that he is joining with Mickey Mouse in a push to oust Disney CEO, Bob "Bob" Chapek. We think Donald said, "While the so-called CEO continues to avoid guests and raise prices, one thing that is overlooked is OUR ability to keep up with the rising costs! I get it, guests are here for a few days, maybe a week, and they are able ... Read more
Now that he can't tweet, think of what he'll do with all this new time on his hands! Image © Disney.

Twitter permanently bans @RealDonaldDuck

First they came for the ducks, but I did not speak out because I was not a duck... SAN FRANCISCO, CA -- Complete Unbiased® social media giant Twitter is permanently banning the @RealDonaldDuck account from ever tweeting again. Head Twit Jack Dorsey announced the move today. "We try to understand The Donald's tweets, but they are just uncomprehensible most of the time. So given his anger issues and his blatant Nazi past, we figured he must be inciting violence." Uncle Walt's Insider will keep ... Read more
Disney Fabulous Five - Mickey, Minnie, Donald, Goofy, and Pluto - dressed as their new theming requires, in pinstripe suits for the transition from the Mickey Mouse Club to the Mickey Mouse Mafia. Goofy has a Tommy gun

Mickey Mouse Club rethemed to Mickey Mouse Mafia

Controversial changes to the Fab Five and the Mickey Mouse Club. BURBANK, CA -- The Roaring 20s are back, after almost a century. With pandemics, division, and cynicism all around, darker approaches to storytelling are all the rage. Even popular, positive characters are being given gritty reboots. (See, for example, the recent Batman and Superman movies, and the upcoming Revenge of Mary Poppins.) It stands to reason that the executives at Disney are exploring some new theming options for its main characters. With the ... Read more
UWI Step Moms Panel

(Step)Moms Panel: I really want to wear a costume to the parks!

The Uncle Walt's Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear (Step) Moms: It's almost Halloween, and I have the cutest Fairy Godmother outfit to wear! The problem is, we're not going to Disneyland until mid-November. Can I still wear my full costume? (P.S. I already know about DisneyBounding. I want ... Read more
Uncle Walt's Insider Election Guide.

Uncle Walt’s Insider Election Guide

You don't have to agree with us, unless you're not an idiot. UNCLE WALT'S H.Q., SVALBARD -- Tucked away in our icy headquarters halfway between mainland Norway and the North Pole, it's easy for the staff at Uncle Walt's Insider to feel removed from American politics. Also, most folks who are fans of Disney or other theme parks usually want to escape from the anxiety of everyday life, not be reminded of it. But there are some elections and issues that we cannot ... Read more