Disneyland Archives - Page 27 of 77 - Uncle Walt's Insider
Mickey Mouse. Not Marty. Image by Loren Javier [CC BY-ND 2.0] via Flickr.

BREAKING: MICKEY MOUSE ANNOUNCES RETIREMENT

He'll still make appearances, but he's turning over the running of the company to Goofy. BURBANK, CA -- In a stunning move, Disney icon Mickey Mouse is retiring as the "big boss" of the Disney empire. The company announced today that Mickey, who is well into his 90's, is "stepping away" to spend more time with Minnie and enjoy his "twilight years." The announcement says Mickey will still appear in the parks on a limited basis, but will leave the daily operations ...
June 5, 2020 by Marty in Other, World
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UWI Step Moms Panel

(Step)Moms Panel: What is it with all these ‘Disneyland closing’ articles?

The Uncle Walt's Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear (Step)Moms: First you (Step)Moms say Disneyland is not closing permanently. Then Uncle Walt's Insider says it is closing permanently. Then yesterday they issue a correction saying it isn't closing permanently. Who do I believe? Is Disneyland closing for good or ...
May 21, 2020 by Marty in step-planDisney
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Now no one will ever take us seriously. Photo [CC0] via Pxhere.

CORRECTION: Disneyland is NOT closing permanently

Oops. ANAHEIM, CA -- Never mind. Sorry. Were you looking forward to seeing orange groves there again? Let us know in the comments below! Need more Uncle Walt's in your life? Be sure to LIKE us on Facebook, FOLLOW us on Twitter, and tell everyone you know! Cover photo: Now no one will ever take us seriously. Photo [CC0] via Pxhere.
May 20, 2020 by Marty in California
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The land will be converted back to orange groves, we're guessing. Photo [CC0] via Pxhere.

BREAKING NEWS: DISNEYLAND TO CLOSE PERMANENTLY

Not a surprise. No one's gone there for weeks. ANAHEIM, CA -- The news that we all feared has come. Contrary to the ramblings of those know-nothing "(Step)Moms" yesterday, officials at the Disney Company announced today that the Disneyland Resort will remain closed permanently. Although the reason has not been announced, we suspect the closure is because the park has become extremely unpopular. No official numbers are available, but some sources are report that NO ONE has visited Disneyland for almost two months! ...
May 19, 2020 by Walt in California
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UWI Step Moms Panel

(Step)Moms Panel: Disneyland is NOT closing permanently!

The Uncle Walt's Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear (Step) Moms: So Shanghai Disneyland has reopened. I am hopeful that the U.S. parks will follow someday soon. But now I'm hearing rumors that the original Disneyland may close permanently! Please tell me that isn't true!" - Jeff B., Santa ...
May 18, 2020 by Marty in step-planDisney
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