Uncle Walt's Insider Disneyland Archives

Reasons why Uncle Walt’s Insider hasn’t published any new content lately

Did our writers go on strike, and Walt didn't even notice? UNCLE WALT'S H.Q., SVALBARD - Faithful readers to this site [Ed.: We have those?] may have noticed a lot of, well, nothing lately. No doubt, this caused you to think "Wait, does the site still exist?" Which would be a very valid question. The answer, dear reader, is, of course, Yes. We do still exist. We still churn out [Ed.: not-so] copious quantities of award-winning satire. So where have we been? Here's ...

Step-planDisney: Our opinion on the coming Oklahoma theme park

Uncle Walt's Insider step-planDisney (Step)Moms answer your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear step-planDisney (Step)Moms: What do you think of the new theme park coming to Oklahoma?” – Chris T., Disney OK Marty: Dear Crisp, thank you for writing. It's good that you have a job where your official duties are so miniscule that they give you ...

August 5, 2023 by Marty in step-planDisney

The renamed & relocated Disneyland Escanaba. Photo courtesy American Heartland Theme Park and Resort (and Spa?).

Disneyland Escanaba sold to investors, moving to Oklahoma

Fire sale at the Disney Company! VINITA, OK -- Sources say Disney CEO Bob 'Bob' Iger, eager to raise capital for the struggling entertainment company, is quietly selling off pieces of the company. Money-losing parts of the company such as ABC, Freeform, FX, and Kathleen Kennedy are up for sale. And the latest piece of the company to go? Michigan's Disneyland Escanaba. Goodbye Yoopers The park, located (some say) in the Upper Peninsula of the state of Michigan, is most famous for three things: ...

July 22, 2023 by Marty in World

The new Fantasmic "fire dragon" effect at Disneyland. Photo courtesy CNN.

Disneyland adds amazing new fire effect to Fantasmic show

Burn, dragon, burn! Disney inferno... ANAHEIM, CA -- Guests viewing the Saturday evening performance of Disneyland's Fantasmic show were given a special treat: the addition of a new fire effect! During the Maleficent dragon scene, rather than just breathing fire, the dragon itself turned into a spectacular, menacing "fire dragon," composed of flames from head to tail! Guests report that the effect was stunning and very unexpected. (Several Cast Members said the same thing.) While the new fire effect is amazing, insiders tell ...

April 25, 2023 by Marty in California

Step-planDisney: Should computer A.I.’s write all of our articles?

Uncle Walt's Insider step-planDisney (Step)Moms answer your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear step-planDisney (Step)Moms: Was the article you published last Thursday ("Yes, Virginia, There is a Disneyland in Texas") really written by artificial intelligence? If so, will you start letting the A.I. write all your stuff from now on? It was pretty good." - ...

February 6, 2023 by Marty in step-planDisney