Disney Cruise Line Archives - Uncle Walt's Insider
Maybe they'll call it "Monstro's Whale Tail" for a while. Photo © Disney, Carnival Corp., maybe.

Is Disney tracking guests via “NSA” desserts?

The intelligence community is really into sugar-free cooking, apparently. CASTAWAY CAY, BAHAMAS -- Picture yourself aboard the magnificent Disney Fantasy cruise ship, where dreams come true, enchantment knows no bounds, and your bank account never recovers. Amidst the grandeur and wonder, an unexpected twist unfolds – you spy [Heh] a mysterious dessert labeled "NSA Apple Turnovers" in Cabana's buffet. What gives? While Disney insists that "NSA" stands for "No Sugar Added," rumors abound that this sweet dessert reveals a secret alliance with the ... Read more
Maybe they'll call it "Monstro's Whale Tail" for a while. Photo © Disney, Carnival Corp., maybe.

Carnival Corporation buys Disney Cruise Line

We can't wait for Goofy's Belly Flop Contest. DORAL, FL -- In a surprising move, returning Disney CEO Bob "Bob" Iger has agreed to unload Disney Cruise Line, selling its ships, branding, and assets to cruise mega-corporation Carnival. Disney Cruise Line will become another of Carnival Corporation's current stable of 27 cruise brands, which already include Carnival, Princess, Holland America, Seabourn, P&O, Costa, Six Flags, SpaceX, Cedar Fair, and Kroger. Uncle Walt's Insider has learned that, at least for now, the former Disney ... Read more
I'll never let go, Jack. Er, I mean Mickey. Photo [CC0] via Pxfuel & clipart-library.

Disney Magic to be sunk, turned into artificial reef

Why don't they ever sink ships to create natural reefs? PORT CANAVERAL, FL -- The Disney Magic is the latest victim of the Covid-19 shutdown. Disney Cruise Line announced today that the Magic, the first cruise ship in the Disney fleet, will be sunk and turned into an artificial reef. With the high cost of maintaining the ship during the cruise industry shutdown, the write-off will help boost Disney's bottom line. I own a share of Disney. Why don't I get these calls? Robert "Bob" Chapek, CEO, and ... Read more
Prototype of new Disney walk-through hand sanitizer tank. Photo courtesy freeskins.co.

Disney buying “walk-through vats of hand sanitizer” for park reopenings

It's "the easiest way to stop our guests from bringing disease." BURBANK, CA -- While many companies are retooling to create masks or ventilators, the Disney Company is going a different route. They have contracted with several manufacturers to build hundreds of "walk-through submersion vats." "We're just looking ahead, to try to get the parks open as soon as possible," says Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation). "Even before this Chinese virus, we've always known the biggest 'ick' factor on our ... Read more
UWI Step Moms Panel

(Step)Moms Panel: Is a Disney vacation worth the extra money over Six Flags?

The Uncle Walt's Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear (Step) Moms: Is a Disney vacation really worth the extra money? Or should I just take my kids to Six Flags?" - Rick C., Amarillo, TX X: Howdy, Rick! How is life under the Amarillo sky? Other than airport connections, I've never ... Read more