Disney buying “walk-through vats of hand sanitizer” for park reopenings

It’s “the easiest way to stop our guests from bringing disease.”

BURBANK, CA — While many companies are retooling to create masks or ventilators, the Disney Company is going a different route. They have contracted with several manufacturers to build hundreds of “walk-through submersion vats.”

“We’re just looking ahead, to try to get the parks open as soon as possible,” says Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation). “Even before this Chinese virus, we’ve always known the biggest ‘ick’ factor on our properties was the guests. You just never know where they’ve been or what nasty disease they’re carrying.”

Passing through sanitizer

The new vats will be approximately six feet tall, with steps at each end leading into and out of the pool. Disney (no relation) says disabled guests will not be overlooked, so that each park will also have at least one sunken vat with ramps for wheelchairs. 

“We’ll have these walk-through vats of hand sanitizer at the entrances to all the parks from now on,” Disney (no relation) reports. “Guests will be required to pass through a tub, and covered from head to toe before being allowed in. It’s just the easiest way to stop our guests from bringing in disease to the parks.”

Disney Cruise Line is also ordering dozens of the tubs for its passengers for when cruises resume, along with special “luggage dunk tanks” for the passengers’ belongings.

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