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UWI (Step)Moms Panel

(Step)Moms Panel: Our thoughts on the Disneyland expansion

The Uncle Walt's Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear (Step)Moms: What do you think of the announced Disneyland area expansion in Anaheim?" - Mari Van Hanen, Green River WY Walt: Hi Eddie, thanks for asking. I think that the best days of Van Halen were during the David Lee Roth days. ...
March 30, 2021 by Marty in step-planDisney
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Artist's conception of what Disneyland would look like in the future if it hadn't already moved to Texas! Photo © 2021 Disney.

Disneyland expansion: what you need to know

We guarantee: there will be more or different stuff! (Fact check: true.) ANAHEIM, CA -- Disney announced expansion plans for its California parks this week, and fans around the world are waiting for more details to surface. We at Uncle Walt's Insider, however, have never liked waiting around for official (read: "correct") announcements. So, based on our access to inside information coupled with our imagination, and with our usual level of accuracy (17%), here's what you can expect from the new development ...
March 27, 2021 by Marty in California, World
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Pretty much the same park, except for the added firepower. Photo lifted from Twitter: @fakethemepark.

Fake Theme Park possibly moving to Texas

Sure, the picture looks the same, but you can tell it's in Texas from all the concealed-carry bulges. TWITTER -- As predicted by absolutely nobody, Fake Theme Park has joined the growing list of entities that have announced they are moving to Texas. In a now-deleted tweet, the popular theme park announced that they would be relocating from their current home in **FILLER TEXT** [Ed.: Be sure to find out where they're located before we publish this!] to a swampy inlet not far from ...
January 26, 2021 by X in World
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Construction of Disneyland Texas, probably! Photo by Philip Hawling [CC BY-SA 2.0] via www.geograph.org.uk; inset photo via DepositPhotos.

Construction underway for Disneyland Texas; location revealed!

It'll be so easy to get to! FUTURE SITE OF DISNEYLAND TEXAS -- Are you as excited as we are for the newly-relocated Disneyland in Texas? Uncle Walt's Insider is thrilled to announce that ground has been broken, and construction has begun! And the new location is just where many predicted it would be. Your reporter was invited on a tour of the property, led by Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation). After a bit of a delay in my getting to ...
October 18, 2020 by Marty in California, World
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Epic Escanaba Universe in da moonlight. Concept art courtesy Universal.

Universal’s Epic Universe to relocate to Escanaba, Michigan

Soon, Escanaba will be just like Orlando! But slightly colder. ORLANDO, FL -- Following an announcement that construction on their new "Epic Universe" theme park had been halted, Universal Orlando hit us with another surprise. Rather than being the third park [Ed.: Universal claims it would be their fourth, but a warmed-over version of Wet 'n' Wild is not a theme park.] in the company's Florida portfolio, they'll be building the Epic Universe park just outside of Escanaba, Michigan. Escanaba? Seriously? Escanaba? Seriously. They ...
July 18, 2020 by X in Florida, World
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