Also, the unnamed executive’s ringtone was a “cha-ching” sound, over and over again. BURBANK, CA — On a recent visit to Disneyland, an unidentified Disney executive (pictured) was overheard saying that there are “too many poor people here.” The unnamed executive suggested that Disneyland should be like a country club: overpriced, exclusive, and offer mediocre…
Walt: “Hey, Marty, can you make a cover image for a story on Bob Chapek replacing Jesus without being too blasphemous?” Marty: “Can I finally get paid for doing this?” Walt: “Ha ha ha ha ha! No.” ORLANDO, FL– Disney has announced exciting plans to acquire and reopen the Holy Land Experience theme park! In an…
![Steak, probably from a cow. Probably. Photo by with wind [CC BY-NC 2.0] via Flickr.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/steak-probably-from-a-cow-768x403.jpg)
This stance is “just as likely to be popular as the last one!” BR’ER BANK, CA — The Disney Company has taken a beating recently over its political stances. Once the most trusted name in family entertainment, a recent poll shows that level of trust down to 54% overall. With some subgroups, the trust in Disney’s…
Apparently Walt isn’t happy. BURBANK, CA — Sources within the Disney Company say that CEO Bob “Bob” Chapek is being visited by the Ghost of Disney Past. Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) confirmed the haunting, but said it is no big deal. “The ghost first showed up when Chapek started charging for…
Our little-known facts series continues, in spite of underwhelming demand! The Disney Company has long wanted to be more than an entertainment company hosting “guests.” Like any power-hungry corporation, they can exercise their authority so much better if they aren’t just your host, but your government — albeit a smiling, pixie-dust sprinkled version. From Walt’s…