company Archives - Uncle Walt's Insider
Hey, look! He's even doing the two-finger point! Photo courtesy TripAdvisor, slightly (?) altered.

Disney to buy Holy Land Experience, replace images of Jesus with CEO Chapek

Walt: "Hey, Marty, can you make a cover image for a story on Bob Chapek replacing Jesus without being too blasphemous?" Marty: "Can I finally get paid for doing this?" Walt: "Ha ha ha ha ha! No." ORLANDO, FL-- Disney has announced exciting plans to acquire and reopen the Holy Land Experience theme park! In an all-cash deal valued at, oh, let's round it up to $20, Disney will buy the property, buildings, and intellectual property associated with the park. (See our companion article: ... Read more
Steak, probably from a cow. Probably. Photo by with wind [CC BY-NC 2.0] via Flickr.

To rehab its image, Disney publicly embraces cannibalism

This stance is "just as likely to be popular as the last one!" BR'ER BANK, CA -- The Disney Company has taken a beating recently over its political stances. Once the most trusted name in family entertainment, a recent poll shows that level of trust down to 54% overall. With some subgroups, the trust in Disney's programming is as low as 23%. "Our leaders are a bit confused," says Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation). "All we did was push back hard ... Read more
We're scared of what the Ghost of Disney Future will show.

Chapek haunted by Ghost of Disney Past

Apparently Walt isn't happy. BURBANK, CA -- Sources within the Disney Company say that CEO Bob "Bob" Chapek is being visited by the Ghost of Disney Past. Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) confirmed the haunting, but said it is no big deal. "The ghost first showed up when Chapek started charging for things that used to be free for guests," Disney (no relation) told Uncle Walt's Insider. "That was unsettling, sure, but Bob's pretty used to the visits by now." "You learn ... Read more

16 little-known facts about “Storyliving by Disney”!

Our little-known facts series continues, in spite of underwhelming demand! The Disney Company has long wanted to be more than an entertainment company hosting "guests." Like any power-hungry corporation, they can exercise their authority so much better if they aren't just your host, but your government -- albeit a smiling, pixie-dust sprinkled version. From Walt's original dream of EPCOT as a true City of Tomorrow, to the town of Celebration, Florida, Disney longs to be in charge of actual living, breathing taxpayers. ... Read more

17 little-known facts about the “Beacon of Magic” lights at Epcot!

Our little-known facts series continues, in spite of underwhelming demand! Tens, possibly hundreds [Ed.: We'd research actual attendance numbers, but that's too much like work] of guests visiting the EPCOT Center Theme Park, Resort and Spa over the past few months have been dazzled by the new light show that's been glued onto the giant golf ball Spaceship Earth. But do you know everything there is to know about this new "Beacon of Magic" light show? We at Uncle Walt's Insider know everything about it. ... Read more