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Closed for the holiday.

Labor Day news roundup

Three-day weekend? Time to phone it in. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- It's Labor Day, which means Disney parks worldwide will be closed to give their Cast Members a long weekend off to spend with their families. And what's good enough for the Mouse is good enough for Uncle Walt's Insider! [Ed.: Actually, it's much better.]  So for your holiday reading enjoyment, here are some news and rumors from around Walt Disney World and other parks worldwide, that we would write an article ... Read more
Possible new Disney park location in Michigan? Photo by rmhermen [CC-BY-SA-3.0] via Wikimedia Commons.

New information unfolds about Disneyland Escanaba

This is gonna be good! UNCLE WALT'S HEADQUARTERS, SVALBARD -- Now that the initial excitement (or outrage) about the new Disney theme park in Escanaba, Michigan has subsided, we put in a Skype call to our favorite Disney spokesperson, Jun Disney (no relation) to see if there are any new details that we can share with our readers. She mentioned that while there's not much that's been finalized yet, there were a few new details, and unfolded a sheet of paper. [Ed.: ... Read more
Disney's eight dwarfs. Photo by Loren Javier [CC BY-ND 2.0] via Flickr.

Confusion at Disney: Pluto named as “Eighth Dwarf”

Is there a mixup between Pluto the dog and Pluto the planet? BURBANK, CA -- There were plenty of raised eyebrows -- many of them animated -- at the Burbank headquarters of the Walt Disney Company when it announced yesterday that Pluto had been named the "Eighth Dwarf." Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) made the announcement. "It really didn't start with us," Disney (no relation) tells Uncle Walt's Insider. "It was the International Astronomical Union who made that call. They decided ... Read more
The three new Star Wars Lands opening soon.

Potentially fatal flaw discovered in Star Wars Land plans

"Abandon our plans? In our moment of triumph?" BURBANK, CA -- Construction continues on the Star Wars: Galaxy's Edge themed lands at all three U.S. Disney parks, despite a serious flaw found in the design plans. Disney intern Scott "Flip" Palledorous, who discovered the potentially fatal defect, has so far been unsuccessful in getting anyone in authority to realize the seriousness of the issue. "Look, I've crunched the numbers," Palledorous says, "and spent hours and thousands of dollars at Starbucks pouring over the plans. ... Read more
Space-going Tesla Roadster with Starman. Public Domain.

Starman disappointed: “I was promised a trip to Disney World”

"There are no churros in space." OUTSIDE MARS ORBIT -- In a remote (duh) interview with Uncle Walt's Insider, Tesla Roadster pilot "Starman" claims that he was promised a trip to the Walt Disney World Resort for taking part in the SpaceX launch. In the more than six months since the Falcon Heavy rocket launched the red Tesla Roadster into space, Starman has traveled over 143 million miles (and exceeded the Roadster's warranty 7,500 times over). He's gone farther from Earth than any ... Read more