virus Archives - Page 5 of 23 - Uncle Walt's Insider
The last Disney fireworks not to be sold on the black market. Photo by Ethically Yours [CC BY-SA 3.0] via Wikimedia.

Disney Parks fireworks for sale on the black market?

We only make up stuff when we want to start a rumor. (This, for example.) BOCA CHICA, TX -- For the first time in Walt Disney World history, fireworks did not explode over Cinderella Castle as the clock struck midnight on New Years Eve. In fact, Disney has not launched a barrage of exploding shells into the sky since the parks re-opened, after closing due to the Great Churro Shortage of 2020. This has left Disney, the second largest purchaser of explosives ...
January 10, 2021 by Walt in Florida, Other
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A barricade at the entrance to the Main Street U.S.A. Autonomous Zone, which they're claiming isn't in the U.S.A.? Photo courtesy disneyparks.com, mynorthwest.com, & kennythepirate.com.

Disneyland declares itself “autonomous zone,” opens in defiance of Newsom ban

Throw a few barricades and hand-painted signs in front of the security checkpoints, and they're good to go! ANAHEIM, CA -- Borrowing an idea from Seattle protestors, today the Disney Company declared the Disneyland Resort an "autonomous zone" and opened the parks. The move comes in defiance of a ban by California Governor Gavin Newsom (D).  Disney CEO Bob "Robert" Chapek tells Uncle Walt's Insider, "I don't know why we hadn't thought of this before. I mean, the Florida properties have had their own ...
January 4, 2021 by Marty in California
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The final straw? CA governor facing recall after banning Churros

Nothing says "overbearing dictator" like denying citizens their Churros. ANAHEIM, CA -- While Disney continues to box up Disneyland for the move to Texas, even bigger news has dominated the headlines. California Governor Gavin Newsom (D) is facing a recall from angry voters.  Newsom's previous orders, while strict, were at least limited in scope, with only trying to run a small business, restaurant, or theme park banned. The new order is far more comprehensive -- and one detail in particular has the remaining ...
December 23, 2020 by Walt in California
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A future Disneyland guest. Photo © Lucasfilm.

Newsom: Disneyland can reopen if guests are frozen in carbonite for at least 14 days

The Science® says the virus won't survive the freezing process. Probably. Maybe. SACRADEMENTO, CA -- Gov. Gavin Newsom (D-Hypocrite) issued new guidelines for theme park reopening in California today. Disneyland can reopen to any guests who have been frozen in carbonite for at least 14 days. Admission preference will be given to anyone frozen since 2018 or earlier. Disney has begun signups on its park website for the freezing process, and is free to Platinum Annual Passholders and members of Club 33. Are you ...
December 11, 2020 by Marty in California
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