![You can save lots of $$ if you don't go here! Photo [CC0] via Wikimedia.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/Castillo_de_Disneyland-768x432.jpg)
Here’s all you need to know about the return to Walt’s original park! ANAHEIM, CA — Thanks to fake Biden’s executive order and impenetrable mask breakthroughs, Disneyland may actually reopen soon! So we thought we’d share with you what to expect when you return to Disneyland. Buckle in, and away we go! Stale churros We…
![Cover photo: Our first robot president signs another diktat. Photo by WillMcC [CC BY-SA 3.0] via Wikimedia / ABC News.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/biden-animatronic-reopens-disneyland-768x403.jpg)
Even malfunctioning, it’s still more coherent than the real thing. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL — Disney Parks, Resorts & Spas officials have “taken advantage of a unique time in history,” Uncle Walt’s Insider has learned. “We know that there have been a flurry of executive orders being signed by Biden,” said our source, who wishes…
It’s 100% effective at stopping the virus, and can be made with common household materials. COLLEGE STATION, TX — This may be the break Disneyland officials have been waiting for! Researchers at the Texas A&M University Department of Biotechnology and Concrete Husbandry have announced a new masking solution that is 100% effective at preventing the…
![At least no one ever dies inside a Disney park, right? Photo by deror_avi [CC BY-SA 3.0] via Wikimedia.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/covid-19-ward-on-tom-sawyer-island-768x403.jpg)
It’s being temporarily renamed “Pirate’s Covid at Tom Sawyer Island” ANAHEIM, CA — Stymied in their efforts to open their theme parks, Disney has joined the fight against Covid-19. The Disney Company announced today that Tom Sawyer Island at the Disneyland Park will become a Covid-19 ward. Disney has already outfitted the island with the…
The logo changes are so subtle. Can you spot them? ANAHEIM, CA — Disney’s recent attempt to re-open Disneyland as an autonomous zone has failed, Uncle Walt’s Insider can now report. Governor Gavin Newsom (D[highlight bg=”#000000″ color=”#000000″]espicable[/highlight]) quickly saw that the change was making his subjects freer and happier without authorization by his regime, so…