stupid Archives - Uncle Walt's Insider
Steak, probably from a cow. Probably. Photo by with wind [CC BY-NC 2.0] via Flickr.

To rehab its image, Disney publicly embraces cannibalism

This stance is "just as likely to be popular as the last one!" BR'ER BANK, CA -- The Disney Company has taken a beating recently over its political stances. Once the most trusted name in family entertainment, a recent poll shows that level of trust down to 54% overall. With some subgroups, the trust in Disney's programming is as low as 23%. "Our leaders are a bit confused," says Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation). "All we did was push back hard ...
April 13, 2022 by Marty in Spotlight, Uncle Walt's Food Blog
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Vandals paint Cinderella Castle a hideous pink color. Photo by Laughing Place via Twitter.

BREAKING: Walt Disney World to leave Florida

Rumor is they're heading for New York City, where they can say "gay." WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- The Walt Disney World Resort and Spa and Alternative Lifestyle Grooming Center announced today that it is packing up and moving out of Florida. "It's obvious that our values don't align with those of the state any more," said CEO Bob "Bob" Chapek. "I mean, they have a law now that says teachers can't discuss sexuality with 5- to 8-year-olds without parental consent! Who wants ...
April 6, 2022 by Marty in California, Florida
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The five second rule does NOT apply to churros! Photo composite by Marty, as is the "comment below" question.

Man throws away entire churro at Animal Kingdom; riot breaks out

Rest in peace, poor churro, we hardly knew ye. HARAMBE, FL -- A riot broke out in the Africa section of Disney's Animal Kingdom after a man was spotted throwing away an entire churro. Our very own Uncle Walt witnessed this atrocity first hand. "I was taking note of a bit of paint chipped off the top of one of the buildings so I could file a complaint with Guest Relations about the state of the park," Uncle Walt told himself so ...
March 27, 2022 by Walt in Florida
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Entrance to Disney, sorry, Six Flags. Photo by Jeremy Thompson [CC BY 2.0] via Flickr.

Top 13 things Six Flags parks are doing to compete with Disney

Can Six Flags overtake Disney? (We'll wait while you wipe the soda off your screen.) What is it with America's non-existent love affair with Six Flags? Truly, they are the parks you visit when you can't afford Disney. The good news for them is that soon, no one will be able to afford Disney! (Thanks, Bob!) But can Six Flags really ever compete with Disney parks? Here's some things they're trying, according to our always-reliable inside sources: An ad campaign highlighting that Speedy Gonzales, also ...
March 21, 2022 by Marty in Other
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Tips for visiting the parks with COVID

Sure, you're sick, but that doesn't mean you should cancel your vacation! (Or does it?) Much of the world is realizing that the pandemic is effectively over, and we're entering into the endemic phase of COVID where we "just live with it." (Note: this doesn't apply to Texas, Florida, or an handful of other states that have been getting on with their lives for months now.) This means that, eventually, you may find yourself testing positive for Covid when you're about to set ...
February 16, 2022 by Marty in California, Florida, World
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