Covid-19 ward opening at Disneyland's Tom Sawyer Island |

Covid-19 ward opening at Disneyland’s Tom Sawyer Island

At least no one ever dies inside a Disney park, right? Photo by deror_avi [CC BY-SA 3.0] via Wikimedia.

It’s being temporarily renamed “Pirate’s Covid at Tom Sawyer Island”

ANAHEIM, CA — Stymied in their efforts to open their theme parks, Disney has joined the fight against Covid-19.

The Disney Company announced today that Tom Sawyer Island at the Disneyland Park will become a Covid-19 ward. Disney has already outfitted the island with the necessary medical equipment and trained Cast Members to handle Covid-19 patients.

They won’t put patients in Dead Man’s Grotto, will they? 

A temporary bridge is being constructed to get patients and Cast Members safely onto the island. Disney is unable to use the rafts, as they are normally considered to be attractions — and Grand Emperor Newsom (D irtbag ) has declared that any sort of amusement ride is unnecessary to the happiness and well-being of the the little people.

Park officials have also petitioned the FDA to certify nightly performances of Fantasmic as a permissive treatment for the virus.

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Cover photo: At least no one ever dies inside a Disney park, right? Photo by deror_avi [CC BY-SA 3.0] via Wikimedia.