We review a Sith bakery in honor of Star Wars Day, May the Fourth. And because we’re Uncle Walt’s Insider, we do it a day late. LAKE BUENA VISTA, FL — “Come to the dark side,” they said. “We have cookies.” Now, I’m not sure who the mysterious ‘they’ is, but I had previously heard…
Nothing says “overbearing dictator” like denying citizens their Churros. ANAHEIM, CA — While Disney continues to box up Disneyland for the move to Texas, even bigger news has dominated the headlines. California Governor Gavin Newsom (D[highlight bg=”#000000″ color=”#000000″]estroyer of Economies[/highlight]) is facing a recall from angry voters. Newsom’s previous orders, while strict, were at least…
The Science® says the virus won’t survive the freezing process. Probably. Maybe. SACRADEMENTO, CA — Gov. Gavin Newsom (D-Hypocrite) issued new guidelines for theme park reopening in California today. Disneyland can reopen to any guests who have been frozen in carbonite for at least 14 days. Admission preference will be given to anyone frozen since…
We knew it. We just knew it. BR’ER BANK, CA — Sources at Disney+ have now confirmed what we’ve suspected all along. The Razor Crest, the spaceship flown by the title character of The Mandalorian, was indeed modeled after the Space Winnebago, Lone Star’s spaceship in Mel Brooks’ classic Oscar-winning drama Spaceballs. Just a few…
![Clarence Farley, 102, the last surviving person to have seen Star Wars in a theater in 1977. Photo by Marg [CC BY 2.0] via Wikimedia, modified.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/last-surviving-star-wars-theatre-viewer-768x403.jpg)
The only other known viewer passed away last month. SOUTHFIELD, MI — Clarence Farley gets a far-away look in his eye when he talks about Star Wars. The 102-year-old lifelong resident of Southfield, Michigan, a Detroit suburb, is the last known person still living to have seen the original Star Wars movie in a theater during…