Star Wars Archives - Uncle Walt's Insider
The letters in the word "acolyte" can be rearranged to spell "lye taco". This means something. Image © Disney.

Cancelled no more: Disney+ announces 4 more seasons of The Acolyte

"We had no idea more than one person ever even watched the show." BR'ER BANK, CA -- After a massive letter-writing campaign from fans, Disney+ has reversed its decision to cancel its controversial Star Wars series The Acolyte. Seasons 2, 3, 4 and 5 will begin production soon. The show, which is set in the Star Wars universe, we think, and is... about an acolyte or something (we didn't watch it), was initially canceled after one season of bad reviews and low ratings. ...
September 6, 2024 by Marty in Other
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Apparently they misplaced the "reopening soon" sign. Photo via DailyWire, clipartmax.

Top new uses for Star Wars: Galactic Starcruiser

Disney's hyperexpensive hyperspace hotel shuts down! Who could have seen that coming? WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL - It was a bold vision, even for Disney: create a Star Wars multiday experience so real, so immersive, that nerds worldwide would empty their bank accounts, drain their 401K's, and decide their kids didn't really need to go to college after all. It was Disney's Star Wars: Galactic Starcruiser, a landlocked Florida hotel themed as an instellar cruise ship, complete with cruise ship prices. And just ...
May 27, 2023 by Marty in Florida
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Not photoshopped. We use GIMP. Image by Disney. (Mostly.)

Top surprise announcements at the D23 Expo

Disney's going all in on... whatever the latest thing is. Sorry, we haven't read the article yet. ANAHEIM, CA - The yearly D23 Expo in Anaheim is always the source of juicy news, and as usual, Uncle Walt's Insider is full of it! Here are some of the biggest announcements from Disney this year: TRON Lightcycle Run's opening day announcement date announced The new Magic Kingdom attraction's opening date will be announced by September 3 of next year! Or maybe that was when they ...
September 21, 2022 by Marty in Spotlight
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Not an actual photo of the boarding, but wouldn't it be cool if it happened like this? Artist concept © Lucasfilm & Disney.

Star Wars: Galactic Starcruiser raided by pirates

Pictured: artist's concept of the pirate-...ing. BATUU, OUTER RIM -- Guests aboard the Halcyon starcruiser had a frightening experience recently in the Outer Rim Territories. A group of pirates, believed to be hiding out at Black Spire Outpost, boarded the starcruiser with blasters drawn and threatening guests and crew. The Halcyon, a Corellian MPO-1400 model starcruiser (home port: Nassau, The Bahamas), is a 100-cabin vessel hailed as the "jewel of the Chandrila Star Line."  Don't you hate it when your blue shrimp and noodles ...
August 22, 2022 by Walt in Florida, Uncle Walt's Food Blog
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Personally, we can't wait for the crossover series. Photo elements © Disney.

MORE future Star Wars & Marvel spin-offs coming to Disney+

It's like they're milking a dead horse, or beating the cow they rode in on. Or something. BR'ER BANK, CA - You thought our previous list of Star Wars & Marvel spinoffs coming to Disney+ was complete? Nay, nay! Disney's going to squeeze the blood from this turnip until the stars fall from the clowns. [Ed.: Will someone please work with Marty on his analogies?] Here's a few more you may not yet have heard of:  Extreme City Makeover: Mos Eisley From wretched hive ...
July 19, 2022 by Marty in Other
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