Rumor Archives - Page 66 of 90 - Uncle Walt's Insider
November 12, when Disney+ debuted. Or the opening scene of I Am Legend. © 2007 Warner Bros, via YouTube.

“Lost Tuesday”: economy tanks after workforce stays home watching Disney+

Trillions were lost as the world marketplace came to a standstill. UNCLE WALT'S INSIDER H.Q., SVALBARD -- They're calling it the "Lost Tuesday." Flights were canceled. Public transportation ground to a halt. World stock markets failed to open, and online trading was minimal. Busy financial districts and downtown economic centers became ghost towns. But did you even notice? Of course not -- you were home bingeing on the glut of Disney, Marvel & Star Wars content you suddenly had at your fingertips with ...
November 14, 2019 by Marty in Other, World
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另一家大公司向中國政府傾斜！Photo by Daderot [CC0] via Wikimedia.

Disney+ surprise: everything’s in Chinese

English viewers must purchase a $20/month "English Unlock Key." BURBANK, CA -- The long-awaited unveiling of Disney's streaming service, Disney+, is here. And there are some mighty disappointed people who signed up. Skeptics who asked how Disney could afford to offer almost all of their content so cheaply now have an answer: the Disney+ app defaults to Mandarin Chinese. Not only that, but English is not available as an option, unless you have first subscribed to an "English Unlock Key." The app shows ...
November 12, 2019 by Marty in Other
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The old Disney look (left) versus the new standards (right). Or is it the other way around? We can't tell them apart.

Disney’s new “Relaxed Look” policy — too relaxed?

In olden days a glimpse of stocking was looked on as something shocking; now heaven knows, anything goes. SANTA MONICA, CA -- When Walt Disney first opened his beloved park (Disneyland), he mandated that the only mustache allowed in the park be on his face. Cast Member's hair could be no longer than his, and their uniforms had to match the land in which they worked. Thousands of newly-hired Cast Members were forced to get a shave and a haircut, which in ...
October 24, 2019 by Walt in California, Florida, Other
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Yes, the Netherlands has Churros and Churro trucks -- but why are the Churros "backed"? Those silly Dutch. Photo by Uncle Walt, used without permission.

A WWWD Special Report: The failure of Disney+

Disney's new streaming service apparently won't have anything good. OLD HOLLAND, NETHERLANDS -- Our very own Uncle Walt has been traveling the globe for his upcoming book, The Global Churro. While visiting the Netherlands, our beloved [Ed.: And most favorited UWI Author, based on a recent round of voting by the team.] [Marty: I don't remember voting] Uncle Walt found himself unable to enjoy local television. So he did what everyone else would do: he turned to the Internet. This is his ...
October 22, 2019 by Walt in WWWD
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Disney+ is active in the Netherlands! Screenshot by Walt, used without permission, with an assist from Google Translate, since apparently most everyone over there speaks English, so Dutch wasn't even a language option when he logged in. Does anyone even read these photo credits?

Disney+ active in Netherlands; millions of Disney fans moving there

"I don't even speak Netherlandian." ROTTERDAM, THE NETHERLANDS -- Disney's new video streaming service, Disney+, won't go live in the U.S. until next month, but some impatient fans aren't waiting. You see, Disney+ is already active in the Netherlands. Consequently, over 10.3 million Disney fans have renounced their U.S. citizenship and applied for permanent residency here. "We expected some increased interest in immigration to our country when we heard Disney would test the service here," said a spokesperson for Dutch Prime Minister Mark ...
October 17, 2019 by Marty in Other, World
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