Rumor Archives - Page 6 of 89 - Uncle Walt's Insider
Oh, yeah. There's also a giant mask on Cinderella Castle. Photo by Michael Gray [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.

BREAKING: Walt Disney World closed following Monkeypox outbreak

Wait, what did they put on Main Street USA??? WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- In stunning news, exclusive to Uncle Walt's Insider [Ed.: Actually, most of the articles we make up are exclusive to us], Walt Disney World has shut down entirely due to an outbreak of monkeypox. Details are sketchy at the moment, so instead of making stuff up like we usually do, we reached out to our favorite Disney spokesperson. Our favorite Disney spokesperson Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) was ...
September 3, 2022 by Marty in Florida
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Disneyland reveals new Magic Key prices – with a blockout date surprise!

By Groot's Hammer, what a savings! ANAHEIM, CA -- In a recent earnings call, Disney CEO and Grand Poobah Bob "Bob" Chapek had some big news that Disney fans are sure to love! While speaking about huge profits from the parks department, he said that big changes were in store - changes that guests should love! Starting in August, guests will be able to purchase a Magic Key in one of four tiers, all at rock bottom prices! For large values of "rock bottom"  ...
August 18, 2022 by Walt in California
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Personally, we can't wait for the crossover series. Photo elements © Disney.

MORE future Star Wars & Marvel spin-offs coming to Disney+

It's like they're milking a dead horse, or beating the cow they rode in on. Or something. BR'ER BANK, CA - You thought our previous list of Star Wars & Marvel spinoffs coming to Disney+ was complete? Nay, nay! Disney's going to squeeze the blood from this turnip until the stars fall from the clowns. [Ed.: Will someone please work with Marty on his analogies?] Here's a few more you may not yet have heard of:  Extreme City Makeover: Mos Eisley From wretched hive ...
July 19, 2022 by Marty in Other
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And we thought we were done with unnecessary Peeps after Easter. Photo © Disney/Pixar, mostly.

Pixar: Bo Peep was transgender all along

Next up: have you ever seen a Slinky Dog twerk? EMERYVILLE, CA -- Continuing Disney's repeated attempts to one-up itself in the Woke Olympics, its animation subsidiary Pixar has announced the first transgender character in children's animated feature films. Not only that, but it says the character was introduced in 1995, when the first Toy Story film was released! Bo Peep, you see, is a dude trans woman, and has been all this time. "Bo Peep was actually born 'Beau,' B-E-A-U, Peep," explains Disney ...
July 9, 2022 by Marty in Other
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Personally, we can't wait for the crossover series. Photo elements © Disney.

Future Star Wars & Marvel spin-offs coming to Disney+

Disney's live streaming service has even more great shows on the way! BR'ER BANK, CA - Disney+ has a lot of great shows already in the Star Wars and Marvel universes, but more are in the works! Here's a few you may not yet have heard of:  Somebody Feed Porkins Follow Jek Porkins as he eats his way across the galaxy! Cantina! A sitcom featuring a variety of wacky regulars and guests hanging out at their favorite Tatooine watering hole, along with snooty waitresses and a ...
June 4, 2022 by Marty in Other, Spotlight
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