quarantine Archives - Page 6 of 10 - Uncle Walt's Insider
It will look like this on Day One. Photo courtesy Wallpaper Flare.

Disney Parks will now reopen at full capacity, calling crowds a “protest”

Apparently you're less likely to catch the virus if you hold certain points of view. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- As Walt Disney World inches towards its reopening date in 2025, the company is backtracking on its plans for social distancing. The parks first announced they would require guests to undergo temperature checks, maintain distance from people they like as well as those they don't, and immerse themselves completely in hand sanitizer. The company also said park capacity would be limited to ...
June 17, 2020 by Marty in Florida
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Covie, starring in Disney-Pixar's "VIRAL" in 2021. Photo by Mikhail Denishchenko [CC0] via publicdomainpictures.net, modified.

Pixar announces 2021 coronavirus-themed film: “VIRAL”

It's the story of a misunderstood virus just wanting to be loved. EMERYVILLE, CA -- Disney Pixar Studios has announced a new feature film release for 2021: "VIRAL."  A press release for the film describes the protagonist as "Covie, a young virus struggling with loneliness, in a world that wants nothing to do with him." Covie "once had a beloved friend and host, an elderly food stall vendor in an unnamed eastern country." [Ed.: He dies in the first ten minutes, right? Dang it, ...
June 10, 2020 by Marty in Other
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Non-socially distanced villains at Walt Disney World. Photo by Leigh Caldwell [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.

Confirmed: Disney villains will not wear masks

Why? Because they're "eeeevil." WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- When Walt Disney World fully reopens in July of 2025, a number of virus-prevention requirements will be in place. But not for everyone. Disney villains will not be required to wear masks, or practice social distancing. Realism "Our goal, as always, is realistic storytelling," explains Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation). "When we saw all of the health officials telling everyone to wear a mask for the well-being of others, we thought, huh... What if ...
June 9, 2020 by Marty in Florida
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Former official campaign photo of Joe Rohde’s Earring, courtesy Joe Rohde’s Earring for President 2020. Photo by alchetron.com [CC BY-SA 3.0].

Joe Rohde’s Earring suspends campaign, does not endorse anyone

It's a bold strategy, Cotton. Let's see if it pays off for them. BURBANK, CA -- Joe Rohde's Earring yesterday is suspending its campaign for the presidency. The brief press release issued yesterday gave three reasons for the decision. The campaign just never gained traction, due to "the quarantine preventing campaign events," "difficulty in fundraising," and the fact that "as an earring [it] is not Constitutionally eligible for the office." Because the campaign is only suspended, Joe Rohde's Earring could re-enter the race ...
June 3, 2020 by Marty in Other
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Seniors celebrate Grad Night at Walt DIsney World. Photo by Joe Penniston [CC BY-NC-ND 2.0] via Flickr.

Photos from 2020 Walt Disney World “Grad Night”!

We have exclusive photographs of the festivities! WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- It's that time of year again, when Orlando-area high school seniors gather at Walt Disney World to celebrate their graduation. And Uncle Walt's Insider has exclusive photos of the event! Enjoy! [Ed.: Marty, I know we run this same piece every year. Don't you think we should change the text?] [Marty: Nah. No one will notice.] Are you as depressed now as we are? ...
May 13, 2020 by Marty in Florida
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