![Goofy, shortly after being appointed CEO. We're assuming Toon Town is in shambles now. Photo by Loren Javier [CC BY-ND 2.0] via Flickr.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/goofy-one-day-as-ceo-650x270.jpg)
Mickey’s retirement lasts less than one day
Goofy wasn't fit to be Disney CEO. His name isn't Bob.
BURBANK, CA -- Mickey Mouse is back.
After announcing his retirement yesterday, the Mouse "pulled an Iger" and announced his unretirement today. No formal reason was given. A source tells Uncle Walt's Insider, however, that Goofy was a "disaster."
Anonymous sources
Minnie Our source, who wished to remain anonymous, giggled and said, "My sweetheart just was made to be the head guy. Everyone loves Mickey!"
"Oh, sure, everyone loves Goofy, too, but not in the ...
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![Mickey Mouse. Not Marty. Image by Loren Javier [CC BY-ND 2.0] via Flickr.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/not-me-as-mickey-e1591114467404-650x270.jpg)
BREAKING: MICKEY MOUSE ANNOUNCES RETIREMENT
He'll still make appearances, but he's turning over the running of the company to Goofy.
BURBANK, CA -- In a stunning move, Disney icon Mickey Mouse is retiring as the "big boss" of the Disney empire. The company announced today that Mickey, who is well into his 90's, is "stepping away" to spend more time with Minnie and enjoy his "twilight years."
The announcement says Mickey will still appear in the parks on a limited basis, but will leave the daily operations ...
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(Step)Moms Panel: A reader is concerned about us (Step)Moms. Awww.
The Uncle Walt's Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.]
"Dear (Step) Moms: Everyone seems to be asking you questions about themselves and how this virus situation affects them. But I'm worried about you, the (Step) Moms. How are you doing?" - Lilyn R., Brunswick NJ
Marty:
Hi Mom. I've told you, don't ...
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(Step)Moms Panel: How will Disney Parks be different when they reopen?
The Uncle Walt's Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.]
"Dear (Step) Moms: I'm worried that Disney parks will never be the same after this virus scare. How do you think going to Walt Disney World will change once it reopens?" - Paula W, Asheville NC
Marty:
Paul, don't worry. I can put ...
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(Step)Moms Panel: What to do first when Walt Disney World reopens
The Uncle Walt's Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.]
"Dear (Step) Moms: What's the first thing you'll do at Walt Disney World when the parks reopen?" - Carri D, Carson City NV
Harriet:
Just don't go to Walt Disney World. There are too many viruses there without you.
Marty:
Hi, Carol.
This is an ...
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