The Uncle Walt’s Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.]
“Dear (Step) Moms: What’s the first thing you’ll do at Walt Disney World when the parks reopen?” – Carri D, Carson City NV
Harriet:
Just don’t go to Walt Disney World. There are too many viruses there without you.
Marty:
Hi, Carol.
This is an easy question for me. I have a tradition. I do the same thing first every time I visit Walt Disney World. I drive into the property, usually under a big arch.
X:
But Marty, which one is your favorite welcome arch? Does your list match our article?
But getting back to the question, the first thing I’ll do is plan a vacation, probably to Disneyland. I have family in Central Florida that I’m trying to avoid right now.
Walt:
Hi Carson, thanks for asking. I’ve been enjoying record low crowds, so I think I’ll go home.
So leave the masks at home, and enjoy your vacation!
Ub:
Hi Carri,
Obviously the first thing to do once you’re there you’ll need to get past the rope drop. Now this sounds simple, but there’s actually a lot of nuance.
First thing, you’ll want to select the park you’re going to visit. The obvious answer is Magic Kingdom, but hold on for just a moment. We expect that interest in Batuu will have subsided slightly by then, so perhaps you can get a couple of rides on Rise of the Resistance.
Next, you’ll want to be first in line, which means getting there very, very early. In fact, we expect there to be about 500,000 people at each park wanting to get in, so when they open at 9:00, you’ll want to be there by at least 9:00 two days prior. With a park capacity of roughly 100,000 each at the Magic Kingdom and Epcot, with smaller park capacities at Hollywood Studios, Animal Kingdom and Islands of Adventure, they obviously won’t be letting all 500,000 into each park. For your time in line, do like the guys at Best Buy on the week of Thanksgiving: bring a tent and port-o-potty.
As you approach the rope, you’ll want to crowd up against it as tightly as possible, as this keeps the people behind you from getting past yourself and the rest of the people who were diligent in their desire to be first.
Finally, when the Cast Members tell you to walk, don’t run… your best bet is to not listen to them. Even if you get thrown out of the park for being dangerous, at least you were first in line at the rope drop!
Hope that helps!
Baby Yoda:
Marty:
“Tolstoy would call Ub ‘long-winded'”? Baby Yoda, you crack me up.
Do you have a question for the Uncle Walt’s Insider (Step) Moms Panel? Click here to submit a question.
Need more Uncle Walt’s in your life? Be sure to LIKE us on Facebook, FOLLOW us on Twitter, and tell everyone you know (plus a few strangers) how wonderful (and humble) we are!.
