park Archives - Uncle Walt's Insider
Oh, yeah. There's also a giant mask on Cinderella Castle. Photo by Michael Gray [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.

BREAKING: Walt Disney World closed following Monkeypox outbreak

Wait, what did they put on Main Street USA??? WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- In stunning news, exclusive to Uncle Walt's Insider [Ed.: Actually, most of the articles we make up are exclusive to us], Walt Disney World has shut down entirely due to an outbreak of monkeypox. Details are sketchy at the moment, so instead of making stuff up like we usually do, we reached out to our favorite Disney spokesperson. Our favorite Disney spokesperson Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) was ... Read more
Coming soon - the new Ukraine Pavilion at Epcot Center! Photo [CC0] via Wikimedia.

Ukraine Pavilion coming to EPCOT

They probably shouldn't build it next to the Russia Pavilion. WORLD SHOWCASE LAGOON, FL -- Bob "Bob" Chapek has announced that he intends to bring a new country to EPCOT: Ukraine! Chapek probably said this in a phone call with our own Uncle Walt. "As I was counting money with the news playing in the background, I suddenly had this great and innovative idea come to mind. I phoned up the boys in Glendale, and after a quick discussion we have decided ... Read more
Aw, is Vlad going to miss out on his parade down Main Street USA? Photo by Darcy [CC BY 2.0] via Flickr, Kremlin.ru [CC BY 3.0] via Wikimedia, and [CC0] via Pexels.com. Yes, it cracks us up that we're using a Kremlin photograph.

Putin cancels “I’m going to Disney World” commercial spot

To be fair, it might have been in bad taste for Disney to run the ad. MOSCOW -- Sources say that a dejected Vladimir Putin has canceled his planned "I'm going to Disney World" commercial.  "It was going to be epic," our source reported Putin saying (but in Russian). "We invade Ukraine, and Kyiv falls the same day. And as our army takes control, a voice says, 'Hey, Vlad, you just conquered a neighboring country! What are you going to do next?' "Then, after ... Read more
Freedom convoy at Epcot's Canada Pavilion. Photo by Steven Miller [CC BY 2.0] via Flickr, and Minas Panagiotokis/Getty Images.

Canadian “Freedom Convoy” relocates to Epcot

"Like the real Canada, but slightly less polite." WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- The self-proclaimed Canadian Freedom Convoy isn't over. It's just moved south. "We got the idea from our wonderful dictator, I mean, Prime Minister," said trucker Léonel Legrand of Montreal. "We learned from reliable sources that he was hiding here when we were in Ottawa. So after we got the boot from there, we came down here. "After all, the Canada Pavilion at Epcot is just like home. Just slightly less polite, ... Read more