Walt: “Hey, Marty, can you make a cover image for a story on Bob Chapek replacing Jesus without being too blasphemous?” Marty: “Can I finally get paid for doing this?” Walt: “Ha ha ha ha ha! No.” ORLANDO, FL– Disney has announced exciting plans to acquire and reopen the Holy Land Experience theme park! In an…
Apparently Walt isn’t happy. BURBANK, CA — Sources within the Disney Company say that CEO Bob “Bob” Chapek is being visited by the Ghost of Disney Past. Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) confirmed the haunting, but said it is no big deal. “The ghost first showed up when Chapek started charging for…
We seem to recall reading that “the love of money is the root…” something, something. PARIS, TEXAS FRANCE — Disneyland Paris is going back to its roots. Beginning next week, the resort will change back to its original name: Euro Disneyland. The change comes at the behest of beloved Disney CEO Bob “Bob” Chapek, who…
The fact that Disney will now get federal health care funds is “not another money grab,” according to CEO Chapek. BURBANK, CA — In a recent call with investors, Bob “Bob” Chapek, CEO of the Disney Company, announced plans to relabel the Disney theme parks as health care facilities, primarily to be able to rake…
![Kisserella Castle at Hershey Kingdom Park in Orlando. Photo [CC0] via Pixabay.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/kisserella-castle-768x403.jpg)
Chapek: “Hey, it makes money for the shareholders.” HERSHEY, PA — In a joint press conference, Disney CEO Bob “Bob” Chapek and Hershey President & CEO Michele Buck announced yesterday that Disney will be selling the Magic Kingdom theme park to Hershey. “It’s a win-win, as far as I see,” Chapek said. “Hershey gets the…