disney ceo Archives - Uncle Walt's Insider
Personally, we can't wait for the crossover series. Photo elements © Disney.

Ads, no ads, or really specific ads – new Disney+ tiers announced

This article brought to you by Disney+, unless you pay us. GLENDALE-ISH, CA -- Disney CEO Bob "Bob" Chapek is continuing his practice of adding charges to things that used to be free! During a recent earnings call, Chapek announced that streaming service Disney+ will be adding advertisements, but that an ad-free experience would still be available -- for an additional fee, of course. Our intrepid reporters [Ed.: I don't think our reporters have been intrepid since Covid hit] were able to discover the ... Read more
Hey, look! He's even doing the two-finger point! Photo courtesy TripAdvisor, slightly (?) altered.

Disney to buy Holy Land Experience, replace images of Jesus with CEO Chapek

Walt: "Hey, Marty, can you make a cover image for a story on Bob Chapek replacing Jesus without being too blasphemous?" Marty: "Can I finally get paid for doing this?" Walt: "Ha ha ha ha ha! No." ORLANDO, FL-- Disney has announced exciting plans to acquire and reopen the Holy Land Experience theme park! In an all-cash deal valued at, oh, let's round it up to $20, Disney will buy the property, buildings, and intellectual property associated with the park. (See our companion article: ... Read more
We're scared of what the Ghost of Disney Future will show.

Chapek haunted by Ghost of Disney Past

Apparently Walt isn't happy. BURBANK, CA -- Sources within the Disney Company say that CEO Bob "Bob" Chapek is being visited by the Ghost of Disney Past. Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) confirmed the haunting, but said it is no big deal. "The ghost first showed up when Chapek started charging for things that used to be free for guests," Disney (no relation) told Uncle Walt's Insider. "That was unsettling, sure, but Bob's pretty used to the visits by now." "You learn ... Read more
The new/old name of Disneyland Paris. Photo via corbisimages.

Disneyland Paris changes name back to EuroDisney

We seem to recall reading that "the love of money is the root..." something, something. PARIS, TEXAS FRANCE -- Disneyland Paris is going back to its roots. Beginning next week, the resort will change back to its original name: Euro Disneyland. The change comes at the behest of beloved Disney CEO Bob "Bob" Chapek, who took time away from protesting Florida anti-grooming laws to return to his primary passion: money. "The original name was better," Chapek was maybe overheard to say. "I mean, ... Read more

Disney Parks to rebrand as health care, will accept Medicaid, Medicare

The fact that Disney will now get federal health care funds is "not another money grab," according to CEO Chapek. BURBANK, CA -- In a recent call with investors, Bob "Bob" Chapek, CEO of the Disney Company, announced plans to relabel the Disney theme parks as health care facilities, primarily to be able to rake in federal health funds. The newly renamed "Disney Parks, Experiences, and Hospice Care" division will begin accepting Medicare/Medicaid payments within a few months. Citing lower guest satisfaction, ... Read more