Uncle Walt's Insider covid-19 Archives - Page 12 of 18

(Step)Moms Panel: Did we skip the murder hornets?

The Uncle Walt's Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear (Step)Moms: With all the current crises in the news, I feel like we've just skipped past the murder hornets. Are murder hornets still a thing? Are there any at Walt Disney World?" - Miles B., Greeley CO Walt: Hi Billy, thanks for ...

Former official campaign photo of Joe Rohde’s Earring, courtesy Joe Rohde’s Earring for President 2020. Photo by alchetron.com [CC BY-SA 3.0].

Joe Rohde’s Earring suspends campaign, does not endorse anyone

It's a bold strategy, Cotton. Let's see if it pays off for them. BURBANK, CA -- Joe Rohde's Earring yesterday is suspending its campaign for the presidency. The brief press release issued yesterday gave three reasons for the decision. The campaign just never gained traction, due to "the quarantine preventing campaign events," "difficulty in fundraising," and the fact that "as an earring [it] is not Constitutionally eligible for the office." Because the campaign is only suspended, Joe Rohde's Earring could re-enter the race ...

June 3, 2020 by Marty in Other

I'll never let go, Jack. Er, I mean Mickey. Photo [CC0] via Pxfuel & clipart-library.

Disney Magic to be sunk, turned into artificial reef

Why don't they ever sink ships to create natural reefs? PORT CANAVERAL, FL -- The Disney Magic is the latest victim of the Covid-19 shutdown. Disney Cruise Line announced today that the Magic, the first cruise ship in the Disney fleet, will be sunk and turned into an artificial reef. With the high cost of maintaining the ship during the cruise industry shutdown, the write-off will help boost Disney's bottom line. I own a share of Disney. Why don't I get these calls? Robert "Bob" Chapek, CEO, and ...

June 2, 2020 by Walt in Florida, Other

(Step)Moms Panel: WDW without Fastpasses or dining reservations?

The Uncle Walt's Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear (Step)Moms: So now we know when Walt Disney World is reopening. But I also understand that all Fastpasses and dining reservations have been cancelled. How's it all going to work now?" - Sandra P., Bangalore, India Harriet: Just don't go to Walt ...

June 1, 2020 by Marty in Florida, step-planDisney

What exactly are the mask's ear loops holding on to? Photo by Kjaergaard [CC BY-SA 3.0] via Wikimedia.

SeaWorld Orlando reopens June 11, won’t sell off their animals after all

What exactly are Shamu's mask's ear loops holding on to? ORLANDO, FL -- Looks like SeaWorld's animals will get to swim around some more. Our taste buds' loss is their gain. Interim SeaWorld CEO Marc Swanson (of Swanson TV dinners fame) presented their plans to the May 27th Orange County Economic Recovery Task Force (M27OCERTF, as all the kids call it). SeaWorld has canceled the sale of their animals to the Gorton's Fisherman and will re-open the parks. The plan is very ...

May 30, 2020 by Walt in Florida