![Ultimate cosmic power!!!! Still can't reopen Disneyland. Image background by Carlos Donderis [CC BY-NC-ND 2.0] via Flickr.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/disney-uber-alles-merger-768x403.jpg)
And they are currently negotiating with both major political parties. BURBANK, CA — In a stunning development, the Disney Company announced today that it will be purchasing Apple, Google, Microsoft and Amazon, and all of their subsidiary brands. Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) was ecstatic. “This is off the record, obviously,” she…
![The entrance arch to the newly-renamed "Orlando Magic Kingdom." Photo by Ivan Curra [CC BY-SA-3.0] via Wikimedia.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/new-orlando-magic-kingdom-entrance2-768x403.jpg)
Nothing like a sponsor to make up for lost profits. AMWAY CENTER, FL — Amid financial losses and decreased attendance, The Walt Disney Company has turned to corporate sponsorship to make up some of the shortfall. Corporate sponsorship, of course, is nothing new to Disney. However, for the first time ever, an entire park will…
It’s not unusual to be loved by anyone. But it is unusual for our articles. UNCLE WALT’S H.Q., SVALBARD — We recently received a cryptic email from an anonymous [Ed.: Hi Bob!] source, deep within the Walt Disney Company. The source wrote simply, “You should write an article about Disney’s Ribeiro Resort.” That was it….
![Mickey Mouse governor Gavin Newsom. Photo by Gage Skidmore [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/gavin-newsome-housing-cast-members-768x403.jpg)
Such a generous guy! SACRAMENTO, CA — On the heels of the recent layoff news coming to Disney Parks & Resorts, California Governor Gavin Newsom (D[redact]ick[/redact]), has announced that he plans to personally take care of each and every employee out of the 28,000 Disney employees that will be laid off. Gavin Newsom said, “It’s…
![We're disappointed. We thought we'd be able to see the potato. Photo [CC0] via Pikist.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/disney-plus-potato-plant-cam-768x403.jpg)
Since the Mulan remake is such a success, here are more smash hits coming to Disney+! MY LIVING ROOM — In the biggest news since introduction of the potato cam, the Disney Company has announced the next several months of releases for their streaming service, Disney+. We’ve gone through and compiled a list of all…