capitalist Archives - Uncle Walt's Insider
Is... is Mickey pointing to Walt, like "Take him! Take him first!"??? Because that's what it seems like. Photo by Steven Miller [CC BY 2.0] via Flickr & Pixabay.

“Young” Walt Disney statue the next to go?

Pulling down statues may prevent past "atrocities." Like Song of the South? ANAHEIM, CA -- The statue of noted oppressor Mickey Mouse was toppled last week at Disneyland, leaving many Disney fans asking, "What's next?" [Ed.: Actually, only a few asked "What's next?" The majority of questions we got after that article ran were, "Is this real?," followed by "What?," "Can I get Marty's number?," and "When does Disneyland Escanaba reopen?"] Apparently, "what's next" may be the statue of the young Walt Disney at ... Read more
Meet Mickey's new voice! Photo by Loren Javier [CC BY-ND 2.0] via Flickr, & Pxhere.

BREAKING: Disney animal characters will only be voiced by actual animals

It's only right. BURBANK, CA -- As you may have read, Disney property The Simpsons will now have characters voiced only by actors of the same race as their fictional counterparts. Apart from the company scrambling to find yellow actors, they now say that they are extending the policy to non-human characters. Yes, from now on, Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, and other beloved Disney characters will only be voiced by animals. Sources say the company is struggling to find a man-dog hybrid to ... Read more
Remember, it all started with a mouse. Photo by Olivier Bruchez [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.

Antifa pulls down statue of “historic oppressor” Mickey Mouse

Where will it end? DISNEYLAND, CA -- Chanting "Hey, ho, the mouse must go," protesters toppled the Mickey Mouse portion of the famed Partners Statue at Disneyland yesterday. A spokesperson for the protesters, Jun "Auntie" Fa (no relation), read a statement to Uncle Walt's Insider. We'd give you the whole thing here, but it was riddled with grammatical errors and poor reasoning, and we're not WDWNTT. Basically, it denounced "almost 100 years" of "rodent-based capitalistic terrorism" on the "poor downtrodden park-goers of the ... Read more