By Groot's Hammer, what a savings!
ANAHEIM, CA -- In a recent earnings call, Disney CEO and Grand Poobah Bob "Bob" Chapek had some big news that Disney fans are sure to love! While speaking about huge profits from the parks department, he said that big changes were in store - changes that guests should love!
Starting in August, guests will be able to purchase a Magic Key in one of four tiers, all at rock bottom prices!
For large values of "rock bottom"
This stance is "just as likely to be popular as the last one!"
BR'ER BANK, CA -- The Disney Company has taken a beating recently over its political stances. Once the most trusted name in family entertainment, a recent poll shows that level of trust down to 54% overall. With some subgroups, the trust in Disney's programming is as low as 23%.
"Our leaders are a bit confused," says Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation). "All we did was push back hard ...
Apparently Walt isn't happy.
BURBANK, CA -- Sources within the Disney Company say that CEO Bob "Bob" Chapek is being visited by the Ghost of Disney Past.
Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) confirmed the haunting, but said it is no big deal.
"The ghost first showed up when Chapek started charging for things that used to be free for guests," Disney (no relation) told Uncle Walt's Insider. "That was unsettling, sure, but Bob's pretty used to the visits by now."
"You learn ...
Pictured above: guests in the foliage.
DISNEY'S HOLLYWOOD STUDIOS, FL -- During a recent visit to the Walt Disney World Resort and Spa and Savings Vacuum, our own Uncle Walt experienced incredibly long attraction Stand-By queues -- so long that the lines stretched off the paths and into the landscaping!
Because of the recent cash-grab scam [Ed.: Well, one of them] perpetrated by Bob "Bob" Chapek, Lightning Lane, guests at the Disney Parks, Resorts, Spa & Labor Camp have encountered even longer ...
Our little-known facts series continues, in spite of underwhelming demand!
It's a hotel! It's a spaceship! It's a hotel! No, it's a spaceship!
Settle down, there's no need to argue. It's a hotel and a (pretend) spaceship! And whatever you think of Walt Disney World's new Star Wars: Galactic Starcruiser, we can all agree on one thing: it's ing expensive.
But do you know everything there is to know about this "space cruise" experience? We at Uncle Walt's Insider do, of course! So read on ...