(Step)Moms Panel: "What will it do in winter?" |

(Step)Moms Panel: “What will it do in winter?”

UWI Step Moms Panel

The Uncle Walt’s Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.]

“Dear (Step) Moms: What will it do in winter?” Jeri, Ypsilanti, MI

X:

Hello Jeri!

Since you’re in Ypsi, it will probably snow during the winter. And be cold. And due to the awful plowing, Washtenaw will go from being 3 lanes in each direction to about 2 and a quarter. And people will probably complain about EMU’s basketball team. Go Hurons!

Harriet: 

Just don’t go to Epcot. There are already enough people there without you.

Ub:

Hi Jennifer, and thank you for writing to the (Step) Moms.

We’ve found that churros are just as good in the winter as during the summer – and in some ways better. After all, you want iced churros during the summer, but in the winter you can have them fresh out of the fryer, all hot and juicy with the crème burning the roof of your mouth. Simply. Amazing.

Some say it never gets cold at Disney Parks, but I am here to tell you that’s a lie. Just ask

Marty: 

Sorry to interrupt, Ub, but you tend to be long-winded.

Dear Gary,

What an odd question to ask a panel of theme park experts! Honestly, I haven’t watched any of the movies, so I can’t really tell you from personal experience. But according to Wikipedia, “It” awakens every 27 years to feed on the children of Derry, Maine.

The article doesn’t mention whether that’s in the winter or not.

Ub:

anyone who has been there for the Disney Marathon, which is traditionally scheduled on days so cold that the Monorails can barely run to ferry the screaming fans, well-wishers, spectators, and whale-watchers to alternate viewing locations so they can watch their loved ones run by. It’s true – the Canadian-made Bombardier trains just don’t like the cold. Go figure.

Anyhoo, how you treat the winter depends on where you are. For instance, if you’re in southern Antarctica, you probably want to treat the winter and the summer alike. If you’re in Nakuru, Kenya, you might also

Baby Yoda:

Ub:

want to treat winter and summer the same way, though quite differently from how you would treat them when visiting the Amundsen-Scott South Pole Station. Some say that you might want to pack a parka when visiting Nakuru.

Now, if you’re visiting Omaha, Nebraska, USA, our neighbors in Ytre Norskøya, or taking in the sights of Verkhoyansk, the temperature differences from summer to winter are a bit more substantial, so you’ll want to pack differently between the two.

If you’re in one of those places, during the winter it will snow at some

Walt: 

Hi Jerry, thanks for asking.

How exciting that you’re traveling at this most exciting time of the year. The hotel choice is fantastic. The plans look solid. And, yes, it will do what it will do cause it is what it is. Enjoy your magical vacation!

Ub: 

point.

Hope that helps!

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