Chapek: Disney attractions will convert to Zoom

It’s only natural, since Disney bought Zoom.

BR’ER BANK, CA — Bob “Robert” Chapek, the once and future king deposed CEO, announced this morning that Disney parks will be very different when they reopen.

“I’ve been playing around with Zoom a lot,” Chapek tells Uncle Walt’s Insider, “and it’s pretty cool. Did you know you can do different backgrounds and stuff?”

Chapek plans to integrate the technology into Disney theme parks.

Wishing, and hoping, and thinking, and praying, planning, and dreaming

“I’ve had a lot of time to think and plan since my very good friend Bob ‘Bob’ Iger came and took my job away from me. And what I’ve been focusing on is how to keep our park guests safe once the shutdown ends. Obviously we’ll have to do things differently from now on. Sure, we’d love to pack people in like sardines again. Maybe that day will come.

“Of course, all this may not be necessary. I understand from this state’s governor that we won’t end the shutdown until we eliminate death entirely. Boy, won’t that be something!”

New Zoom-based attractions

Chapek shared a list of the various Zoom-based attractions he’s come up with.

“Oh, there’s a lot of them. So far I’ve focused on Walt Disney World, since that was Walt’s favorite park, but I’ll get to the others eventually. I don’t want to give away every idea, but here’s a few I came up with:

• Hoop-De-Zoom Revue

• Festival of FantaZoom parade

• Zoomin’ Over California

• Kilimanjaro Zoomfaris

• Indiana Jones Zoom Spectacular

“Oh, and don’t print this, but the new Disneyland Wuhan may be entirely Zoom-based! We can’t wait!”

We can’t wait to ride Rise of the ReZoomstance, can you? Let us know in the comments below!

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Cover photo: The new DiZOOMney logo.