Officials were inspired by the new Disneyland masks. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL — The Walt Disney World Resort and Spa and Biological Warfare Factory has had its share of odd rules over the last year. To combat the pandemic, park officials have required guests to fully immerse themselves in hand sanitizer, prohibited wearing gators (presumably…
![Cover photo: Our first robot president signs another diktat. Photo by WillMcC [CC BY-SA 3.0] via Wikimedia / ABC News.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/biden-animatronic-reopens-disneyland-768x403.jpg)
Even malfunctioning, it’s still more coherent than the real thing. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL — Disney Parks, Resorts & Spas officials have “taken advantage of a unique time in history,” Uncle Walt’s Insider has learned. “We know that there have been a flurry of executive orders being signed by Biden,” said our source, who wishes…
It’s 100% effective at stopping the virus, and can be made with common household materials. COLLEGE STATION, TX — This may be the break Disneyland officials have been waiting for! Researchers at the Texas A&M University Department of Biotechnology and Concrete Husbandry have announced a new masking solution that is 100% effective at preventing the…
![At least no one ever dies inside a Disney park, right? Photo by deror_avi [CC BY-SA 3.0] via Wikimedia.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/covid-19-ward-on-tom-sawyer-island-768x403.jpg)
It’s being temporarily renamed “Pirate’s Covid at Tom Sawyer Island” ANAHEIM, CA — Stymied in their efforts to open their theme parks, Disney has joined the fight against Covid-19. The Disney Company announced today that Tom Sawyer Island at the Disneyland Park will become a Covid-19 ward. Disney has already outfitted the island with the…
![The last Disney fireworks not to be sold on the black market. Photo by Ethically Yours [CC BY-SA 3.0] via Wikimedia.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/disney-black-market-fireworks-768x403.jpg)
We only make up stuff when we want to start a rumor. (This, for example.) BOCA CHICA, TX — For the first time in Walt Disney World history, fireworks did not explode over Cinderella Castle as the clock struck midnight on New Years Eve. In fact, Disney has not launched a barrage of exploding shells…