We’re already booking our plane tickets. TOOWOOMBA, AUSTRALIA — The government of Australia has figured out how to counter the protests against their aggressive anti-Covid policies: marketing. “That’s right,” Down Under (the country nickname) spokesperson Jun Under (no relation) tells Uncle Walt’s Insider. “When we rip someone out of their home and ship them to…
![Any risk is totally worth the reduced-price Disney-branded adhesive bandage, right? Photo by freeimageslive.co.uk [CC BY 3.0].](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/disney-vaccine-coming-soon-768x403.jpg)
This isn’t just another Disney cash grab, is it? Nah. BURBANK, CA – Disney has won FDA approval for its own branded Covid-19 vaccine, the company announced yesterday. The new vaccine will be marketed toward children under the age of 12, and also to adults who act like children under the age of 12. Initially,…
![The anal probing was happening just off-camera. Thankfully. Photo by Sergey Galyonkin [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/star-wars-batuu-galaxys-edge-disneyland-768x403.jpg)
Can Covid actually infect all of those different Star Wars species? BLACK SPIRE OUTPOST (CA, NOT FL) — As many on Planet Earth attempt to return to some sort of normal, another planet is going back into lockdown. The Governor of Black Spire Outpost has announced that due to the Covid-19 Delta Variant, Batuu would…
![What fireworks looked like before they were forced to wear masks. Photo by Candace Lindemann [CC BY 2.0] via Flickr.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/disney-fireworks-without-masks-768x403.jpg)
So apparently when you wrap a fireworks shell in a mask, it doesn’t work the same? Huh. MAGIC KINGDOM, FL — As billions of guests once again pass through Disney parks turnstiles each day around the globe, one thing has been missing: fireworks. It’s been over a year since Disney put on a fireworks show. Or…
![Someone got a little carried away with the "no mask" celebration! Photo by Carlos [CC BY-NC 2.0] via Flickr.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/mickey-mouse-without-a-mask-768x403.jpg)
Warning to anyone who believes the theme park characters are real and not humans in a costume: don’t read this article. Or this warning. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL — Disney Cast Member Fabiana Cooper, whose name is being withheld for employee discipline reasons, caused a stir yesterday at the Magic Kingdom. Disney (the company) spokesperson…