Chapek: “I wrote the script myself.” REEDY CREEK, FL — There’s a new stage show coming soon to the Walt Disney World Resort & Spa & Alternative Lifestyle Exploration Center! In a new bid to drive the Disney Company into the ground and keep California’s lights on, the Forecourt Stage at Cornelius (formerly Cinderella) Castle…
![With a sign like this, at least it's not likely to be mistaken for the original show. Photo by Matt Dempsey [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr, clipart.me, & Wikipedia Commons.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/san-francisco-bear-jamboree-768x403.jpg)
Oh, there will still be “bears.” MAGIC KINGDOM, FL — The Walt Disney World Resort and Spa and Center for Societal Change has announced a new project, sure to excite parents of all genders! Disney is continuing its current project (called “Woke Kingdom,” according to insiders) by re-theming the beloved attraction Country Bear Jamboree. We…
![Steak, probably from a cow. Probably. Photo by with wind [CC BY-NC 2.0] via Flickr.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/steak-probably-from-a-cow-768x403.jpg)
This stance is “just as likely to be popular as the last one!” BR’ER BANK, CA — The Disney Company has taken a beating recently over its political stances. Once the most trusted name in family entertainment, a recent poll shows that level of trust down to 54% overall. With some subgroups, the trust in Disney’s…
Apparently Walt isn’t happy. BURBANK, CA — Sources within the Disney Company say that CEO Bob “Bob” Chapek is being visited by the Ghost of Disney Past. Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) confirmed the haunting, but said it is no big deal. “The ghost first showed up when Chapek started charging for…
Rumor is they’re heading for New York City, where they can say “gay.” WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL — The Walt Disney World Resort and Spa and Alternative Lifestyle Grooming Center announced today that it is packing up and moving out of Florida. “It’s obvious that our values don’t align with those of the state any…